|
Codes: STNG, Walker Keel, P/C
Rating: PG-13, not really P/C but early history of Walker introducing the group to each other (sort of).
Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, I just move their lips.
"Well, well, well," she said mockingly, one hand on her hip, the other firmly on the door. "If it isn't Commander Keel and with yet another offering for the gorgeous Dr. Howard." She smirked, then backed up to allow the two Starfleet officers entrance.
"Hello, Sherry, my pet," Walker grinned and gave his lover a quick kiss.
Sheridan Kelsey leaned in to touch his lips with her own then shut the door, perusing the back of Walker's friend and producing an approving, lecherous grin which she knew her lover saw. Sherry was a head shorter than Walker Keel, with shoulder length, dark brown, thick hair she kept perpetually pulled back. Her beau had tried to talk her into letting it out once in a while, but she would only oblige him when they were alone and reclining. She hated having her hair in her face and kept it confined as much as possible.
The twenty-five year old woman's eyes were deep green and sparkled with mischief constantly. Sheridan Kelsey was sharp, quick and forthright. She kept her emotions guarded except with a few very close friends, but was extremely playful and risqu�, at least verbally. Walker Keel knew she liked to astonish him and it was a way for her to test the sense of humor of anyone with whom she came in contact. That is, if she felt they were worthy of being her friend. The lady was confident, but not egotistical and Mr. Keel knew she had a soft streak a mile wide inside, one just had to know the right button to push to get it to surface. His own reticence melted in her presence and he rather liked the sensation.
The young woman's tightly toned body moved gracefully and was perfectly proportioned for her size. Of course, Sherry thought her hips far too large and her nose too pointed, but Walker liked the patrician features that actually resembled Beverly Howard's somewhat. Ms. Kelsey's weren't quite as angular and her cheekbones not as pronounced, the lips fuller and marginally wider than Beverly's, but the two women made a stunning pair.
"Aren't you going to introduce me to your latest sacrifice? And if you don't stop calling me 'pet,' I'm going to injure you severely." Sheridan was teasing, but totally bewildered by her partner's apparent need to play matchmaker for her roommate, Beverly Howard.
"Actually, Sherry, I was hoping to find Bev here and do the whole thing all at once." Walker peered into the kitchen as he strolled through the apartment, then casually went in search, down the hall, for his red-headed friend.
"Sorry, Pookie," the young woman called after him and emphasized the last word to get him back for calling her 'pet,' "The magnificent doctor is on call this weekend. She won't be back until Tuesday."
"Damn! I thought she was off duty this weekend." Walker frowned.
"Well, Mr. Keel, if you were a bit more forthcoming with your plans to hook her up, perhaps she might not have switched with someone so she could go home next weekend for the games. Oh, but I forgot, the great Walker Keel NEVER divulges his plans!" Sheridan rolled her eyes at the commander and decided to make the introductions herself.
"Lt. Sheridan Kelsey, at your service, Sir. And you are...." She smiled, offered her hand, and leaned a bit closer to their guest.
"Commander Jean Luc Picard, at yours, Lieutenant. It's a pleasure to meet you." Jean Luc clicked his heels together and bowed slightly to the outrageous young woman, while still chuckling at her reprimand to Commander Keel. Picard wasn't absolutely sure yet if he liked this woman, but she was certainly amusing and he was ALWAYS polite. Sheridan Kelsey was definitely attractive, not Keel's usually demure type, and sharp as a phaser beam. He'd have to stay on his toes this evening to keep up with her.
"Oh, well, in that case, Commander, would you like to throw this ruffian out," Sherry waved disdainfully at Walker, "and we could get to know each other better?" She stepped closer to Commander Picard and chuckled when he backed away slightly.
"Perhaps, Lieutenant, but I may need your assistance, he might resist." Jean Luc played along and received a dazzling smile from the brunette. This young woman was more like Walker's sisters. Very witty, very bright and very quick, not giving his friend an inch in which to maneuver. Anna and Melissa Keel kept their brother in line but never balked at showing their love for him either.
"Oh, that's all right. We'll just tie him up first. He likes that, so I'm sure he'll be quite docile." Sheridan winked at her new friend, then laughed at the eyebrow her comment raised on his head.
"Sherry! For God's sake, behave yourself!" Walker could see the blush climbing Picard's face and took pity on him.
The lieutenant whirled on her lover and crossed the intervening space in three quick strides. Cocking her head slightly and frowning, she paused until Walker's eyes began to show his apprehension at what she might do next, then he relaxed as she laughed at him. Spinning around to face their guest once more, Sheridan sauntered back to Jean Luc, taking his arm and seating the slightly flustered man on the sofa.
"Walker," she barked, then allowed her tone to soften after getting his attention, "Be a good little host and offer our guest a drink. I'll see what we might have that could make a marginal dinner." With that, the outrageous brunette disappeared into the kitchen where the two men could hear her rummaging through cupboards, refrigerator and drawers while humming merrily to herself.
"So, Jean Luc, what do you think?" Commander Keel whispered conspiratorially to his friend. He wanted to know that his friend liked the love of his life.
"Definitely different, not your usual blonde mouse." Commander Picard wasn't committing to a concrete opinion just yet.
Walker let it go for now and moved on to a different subject, "Sorry about the mix up with Bev." Commander Keel was put out that Dr. Howard had ruined his carefully laid plans, but gave it up, knowing she didn't do it intentionally.
"It's all right, Walker. I wasn't too thrilled about a blind date. I AM fully capable of choosing my own." Jean Luc was actually relieved. He had a date tomorrow night and didn't want the hassle of trying to juggle two women during his leave. He had only reluctantly agreed to go along with his friend's set up because he was intrigued by the description of the supposedly stunning red head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sheridan Kelsey produced, without help from the replicator, one of the best Italian meals Commander Picard had ever tasted. The young lieutenant was quite an artist in the kitchen and Jean Luc was profuse in his gratitude for the sumptuous meal. He provided the wine and was pleasantly surprised by Sheridan's in-depth knowledge of the vintage and her obviously practiced palate. Walker's latest girlfriend was also quite keen on archaeology and discussed it intelligently with her new friend. Jean Luc finally realized this woman would make a spectacular captain someday and knew he would be hearing about her frequently in the future, from people other than Commander Keel.
Once dinner was consumed and the dishes cleared, the three headed back to the living room. Sheridan planted herself in one corner of the sofa but when her lover moved to sit next to her she waved him away.
"Why don't you sit here, Jean Luc," she patted the spot beside her. The lieutenant smiled sweetly at her new friend to let him know he was relatively safe from carnal attack right now. Picard acquiesced and sat down tentatively.
"Don't worry, I don't bite. Unless, of course, you like that sort of thing." She smiled wickedly and he blushed.
"I wish!" Walker interjected quietly.
Sheridan's head snapped around to her lover now seated across from them. He'd been annoying her with his mildly suggestive asides all through dinner, pouting about his failed matchmaking attempt.
"Commander Keel," the lieutenant said icily, "there are any number of women in this city who would be happy to indulge your aberrant proclivities. I, however, am not one of them. If you have a problem with that, I suggest you say so and get it over with right now."
"Perhaps I should be going," Jean Luc said quietly, not wishing to witness a fight between the two.
"Not at all, Mr. Picard," Sheridan replied sincerely, "Walker's just out of sorts because Bev had the audacity to change her schedule without consulting this Yente first." She waved vaguely at her lover.
"I'll behave, I promise, there's no need for you to go." She smiled, patted his knee and gave her partner a fierce 'you better not embarrass me further' glare.
"Yes, Jean Luc, stay. Sherry's not really so evil as she seems." Walker winked at them both. He did not want his friend's evening to be completely ruined by his pouting and her temper.
"Tell me about yourself, Jean Luc. I've always been intrigued by French men," the lieutenant purred her request and leaned on the back of the sofa to face her guest, curling her legs beneath her and waiting for his response.
Picard shrugged, "There's not much to tell, really." The answer was lame, he knew, but he hated talking about himself and this gregarious woman made him slightly nervous.
"Oh, well, that's okay. Since you don't like talking about yourself, perhaps I should have Walker tell me instead?" Sheridan didn't wait for a response from her new friend, she looked at her lover and fired questions at him, one after the next.
"Age?"
"Forty-two," Commander Keel sat forward, elbows on knees, smiling at the outrageousness of his partner.
"Career path?"
"Command. First officer of the USS Stargazer."
"Siblings?"
"One, Robert, lives in France, tends the family vineyard." "Favorite color?"
"Haven't a clue."
"That's because you're almost completely useless. It's a good thing you're cute or I'd have no patience with you at all. Okay, hobbies?"
"None." Walker grinned knowing this answer would probably make his friend protest.
"That is NOT true!" Jean Luc was incredulous and glared slightly at Mr. Keel.
"Oh, thank God!" Sheridan interjected with mock relief. "Tell me, Jean Luc, what do you like to do when you're not watching over the Stargazer?" The purring and smile were back.
"Well, fencing, riding, archaeology, running, climbing, Shakespeare." Commander Picard went down the list steadily then paused for breath.
"How very renaissance of you, Commander! Shakespeare no less! Tell me, what is your favorite sonnet?" She leaned back, enjoying this immensely.
"Mmm, that would have to be....number 29," he replied.
"I see, and your favorite comedy?"
"Oh, easier decision. Much Ado," he answered quickly, smiling at the interrogation.
"Hmm, interesting. Favorite tragedy/drama?"
"Now that's a bit more difficult to decide." He contemplated the answer then offered his decision, "Henry V, I think."
"Ah, 'Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more! Or close the wall up with our English dead." She winked at him. "Or better yet, 'we few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, this day shall gentle his condition.'" She sighed ending the quote blissfully at her own memories of the play.
"You are quite an intriguing man, Mr. Picard. I think, perhaps, I may have to test your skill with the blade." The lieutenant's smile spread quickly. Jean Luc couldn't help thinking the lieutenant quite extraordinary and returned her grin.
"Sheridan!" Walker shouted, not believing his lover was making such a forward statement.
"What?!" She replied looking at him then realizing he had taken her comment to mean something else completely.
"For God's sake, Walker, get your mind out of the gutter! I was talking about FENCING!" Sherry said, thoroughly disgusted that her lover would think she meant anything else.
Jean Luc laughed heartily, then blushed at what his friend really thought she'd meant.
"I'd be most happy to oblige you, Lieutenant, but it will have to be soon. I have only four more days of leave." Commander Picard answered the challenge graciously.
"Perfect! How about tomorrow, say 1500 hours? The boy toy has to go back to his ship and I could use the practice. The Starfleet fencing match is coming up and I do not intend to lose!" Sheridan winked again at Jean Luc and he returned her smile with a nod, accepting her proposal.
Picard chuckled at her flippant reference to his friend. Walker blushed this time, cleared his throat and walked to the window.
Sheridan smiled wickedly, leaned close to her new friend and whispered, "Don't worry, JL, I'll make it up to him later." She laughed at Picard's conspiratorial grin and specified the nearest Starfleet gym for their duel the following afternoon.
Jean Luc finally gave Walker his whole-hearted approval of the lovely young lieutenant before taking his leave. Commander Keel beamed at the good opinion of his friend and was then abruptly pushed aside by his lover.
"Move, you big goof!" Stepping between the two men, Sheridan smiled genuinely and wrapped her arms around Jean Luc's neck before he could even realize what she was doing.
"I know I'm a bit intense, but I was hoping you'd like me. It will make Walker very happy," she whispered in his ear, then leaned back, still holding onto his shoulders.
"I am sorry you missed Bev. I think she'd like you quite a bit." Minor pause, "Well, not enough to bring out the leather and handcuffs just yet, but I see potential, Commander Picard," Sheridan winked yet again and Jean Luc smiled at her risqu� banter.
"That's all right, Lieutenant," he answered mock seriously, "I usually bring my own anyway." Picard returned the wink then kissed her cheek, waved to Walker and left with a smile playing across his face as he shook his head in wonder. DEFINITELY not the usual woman Walker Keel brought home! No wonder the man was in love, he thought amusedly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I like him, Walker. Good choice. Next time you might want to actually clue Bev in on your schemes, however." Sheridan laughed and hugged her lover.
"Well," Keel stated emphatically, trying to defend his absence of manners, "I didn't know until two days ago that Jean Luc would be on leave here."
"Yes, but two days ago Bev hadn't changed her schedule. Although, to be fair, I don't think your blind date would have beaten out Nana and the Highland Games." She tried to make her obstinent partner feel better about the failed matchmaking attempt.
"True," he agreed, "Still, I think Bev would really like him. He's quiet, but he can be a lot of fun."
"Yes, my love, I can tell. You'd better be on your best behavior tonight or I might just dump your sorry butt for him myself!" Sheridan chuckled as she backed away down the hall, crooking her finger at Walker when she reached the bedroom door.
"Come here, my little boy toy," she said lustfully. The commander complied with alacrity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lying comfortably on her lover's chest, Sheridan trailed soft patterns across his skin. She knew he wasn't asleep, his hands were roaming freely over her body.
"Love muffin?" She knew he hated pet names as much as she did, but they each teased the other in playful moments.
"Yes, my dove?" Walker knew Sheridan abhorred that one almost as much as 'my pet,' and smiled as he answered her.
She growled softly, then leaned up on one elbow, resting her head in her hand. "Why do you feel this overwhelming NEED to pair our lovely doctor with some Starfleet officer? I mean, seriously, do you think she needs a husband or what?" Sheridan was very curious about the latent matchmaking tendencies of Walker Keel and where they could possibly have come from.
"I just want her to be happy." He shrugged.
"Walker, we ALL want her to be happy. She certainly deserves some happiness, but I'm not setting her up with every Tom, Dick and Jean Luc that comes along. What's up with that?"
"I don't know. I just....ever since we took them off Arvadda III I've felt responsible for her. You didn't see that place, Sher. It was the most hideous thing I've ever witnessed and no one came out of it unscarred." Walker's brow creased at the memory and his lover kissed the furrows until he relaxed again.
"Okay, so your paternal instincts were tapped, but still, are you hoping one of these guys sweeps her away on a cloud of love? Won't happen, my friend, that's fairy tale nonsense and you know it." Sheridan was insistent. She didn't want Beverly hurt by one of these would-be Romeos.
"No, I just want her to fall in love. Be blissfully happy," he paused, "Like me."
Sheridan looked at him sharply. Her jaw fell open at the sincerity she saw in his eyes.
"You bastard! How DARE you fall in love with me and not say something!" She grabbed a pillow and thwopped him on the head.
Walker grabbed his lover around the waist and rolled her beneath him, smiling wickedly.
"Surprise, love monkey," he said quietly and kissed her softly.
"Get OFF me you Klingon ape!" Sheridan pushed half-heartedly.
"No. Not until you tell me how desperately in love with me you really are." Walker kissed her again and she did not resist.
"I'd rather kiss a Cardassian, you toad, now get off." But Sheridan's fire had been drowned in his beautiful, loving gaze. Her hands stilled on his shoulders and Walker kissed her passionately.
When he backed away to look at her, his lover's eyes were still closed.
"Tell me," he murmured, his face close to hers.
"No," she whispered back, brow furrowing in determination.
Walker leaned in once more and gave Sheridan the most tender kiss he imagined she'd ever experienced. He was quite correct.
"Tell me, my love," he said quietly again, rubbing his nose on her cheek. Her eyes were still closed and a blush was creeping up her face.
"God, I love you, Walker Keel!" Sheridan finally gave in to his demands in a barely audible voice, then pulled him in for a repeat of that magnificent kiss.
The commander made slow, gentle love to the lieutenant, holding her tightly afterwards. Sheridan did not speak and remained quite still on his chest but he knew she was awake. Walker could feel her eyelashes moving with each blink.
After a half hour of this silence, he began to worry and rolled her over to look at his lover carefully. Sheridan wouldn't meet his gaze.
"Sherry?"
Lt. Kelsey squeezed her eyes shut and moved her hands to his chest, but did not answer.
"Sherry, my love, talk to me," Walker pleaded, "I need to know what you're thinking."
"I...." the young woman began, but hesitated, still not raising her eyes, she finally spoke to her lover's chest, "I think I'm in way over my head, Walker. I didn't think.....I didn't intend for you to fall in love with me." She closed her eyes once more, unable to continue.
"And you didn't expect to return those feelings, did you?" Her lover spoke gently and was surprised by her wrenching reply.
"No!" She pushed against him but did not make any real effort to get away. "That's not what was supposed to happen, dammit! You are NOT part of the career plan, Commander!" Her eyes finally flew open and she looked at him accusingly.
He just laughed at the thought Sheridan could be angry because they were so in love with each other and it didn't suit her career path.
"Don't you DARE laugh at me, Walker Keel!" Her voice was low and threatening. It shut him up, but did not remove the triumphant smile from his face. Sheridan finally pushed him off and slid out of the bed, grabbing her robe and pacing furiously after donning the garment.
"This was just supposed to be a lark, but no, you had to worm your way into my heart, didn't you?" Her face had taken on an angry accusatory look.
Walker sat on the edge of the bed, leaning forward, his hands braced on either side of his hips, wicked grin firmly ensconced on his face.
"You just couldn't let it stay that way, could you," she continued, "No! You take a fun little romp and turn it into something serious! What the hell am I supposed to do NOW?" Sheridan stopped in front of her lover, hands on hips, a scowl on her face.
Walker grabbed Sherry, pulled her to the bed and rolled her beneath him. "You're supposed to marry me, I think." He kissed her quickly after the proposal.
"Are you INSANE? Why on Earth or any other planet would I want to do something that idiotic?" Sheridan pushed her hands against his chest once more and grimaced again, but did not try to rise.
"Yes, I guess I am insane because that's exactly what I think we should do and I believe you will because you're hopelessly in love with me." Walker shrugged as if his answer made perfect sense, then kissed her again.
"Oh, I see and I'm just supposed to pine away for you until we can see each other every year or so? Fabulous life, Keel, thanks so much!" The sarcasm was not lost on her lover, but he ignored it.
"You're very welcome, my love," he answered then kissed her once more.
"And what am I supposed to do when we want to have children? Did that little scenario ever cross your addled mind?" Sheridan wasn't giving in but Walker caught her phrasing of the question and grinned triumphantly.
"Well, we'll just have to see, won't we? They're building family ships now, we could both try to get posted to one when we decide a family is in order." He shrugged again.
"Oh, right. And which one of those ships is going to have TWO first officer's, Commander?" The lieutenant wasn't going to let him get away with that lame answer.
"Look, Sherry, we'll work it out. You and I together. Now stop making such a fuss and just give in. Damn, woman, you're worse than that red head you live with!" Walker kissed her forcefully this time and felt her arms finally wrap around his neck and her mouth open willingly to his.
"You're not getting out of it that easily, Pookie," Sheridan whispered as he moved his lips down her neck.
"Yes, Pet," he replied and resumed the excursion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Damn it! Sherry, have you seen my badge?" Commander Keel was scrambling to get ready and leave. The man was now searching the living room for his accessories. He was due back at the transport center in twenty minutes.
"Yes, you idiot, here," she said mockingly as she handed him the Starfleet logo.
"Thanks! You are fabulous," Walker said as he placed the badge on his jacket and leaned down to kiss his lover.
"Yes, I'm aware of that, but how in hell do you find these things without a personal maid on your ship?" Sheridan's arms were crossed and she truly wondered how the man managed.
"Well, my love, I don't usually have my uniform ripped forcefully from my body on board the ship." He smiled and winked at her.
"Oh, really. Well perhaps you can get your captain to oblige occasionally." She ran her hands lovingly over his uniform, contemplating taking it off him just once more before he left.
"I would, but I don't think I'm his type," the commander enfolded her in a tight embrace and kissed the top of her head.
"That's not what I heard," Sheridan replied softly, heard him chuckle, then grabbed him fiercely and buried her face in his chest.
"It's all right, Sherry. I love you. It will be fine. Tell me you're all right with this." Looking down in concern he saw she was crying and caressed her cheek.
"How did I EVER let you talk me into this?" Sheridan nudged him, "I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life!"
"Probably, my pet, but you've already said yes, so you're stuck. If you back out now, I'll sue you for breach of promise and have you court martialed for insubordination." Walker smiled encouragingly and was pleased when she grinned back.
"I swear to God, Keel, if you so much as THINK about doing something stupid or dangerous, I'll know and you will suffer for it when you get back." Sheridan wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and would not let go.
"Tell me," Walker whispered to his fiancee.
"No," Sheridan replied, knowing she would not be able to control her tears again if she said it.
"Please, my love, tell me." He was begging now and she could not resist much more.
"Why? You know." It was her only remaining defense.
"Because it will make me happy and I'll give you a kiss if you do." Walker tempted his lover and squeezed her gently.
"No."
"Yes. Please, Sherry. I need to hear it before I go."
"Oh, Walker, why did you have to say that?" The lieutenant's tears now fell unchecked. "I love you with every fiber of my being and I can't live without you." She complied with his request in a murmur, unable to resist any longer.
"Come back to me, I can't bear to think of you out there without me." Sheridan pulled her lips away from his ear and brought them to his mouth in a passionate farewell.
The commander backed her against the living room wall and pressed his hips to hers. She responded by grabbing his backside and squeezing. They made love once more although it was anything but slow and gentle. The physical act, however, was what both needed at that moment in order to let go of the other.
Once they rearranged their attire properly after the impromptu session, he had his bag in hand and the door was open. Walker gave her one last tender kiss and told her he would write. She smiled and replied that he better or she'd find someone who would treat her more appropriately. He grinned, kissed her once more quickly then ran down the hall.
Sheridan Kelsey sank to the floor after the door shut, back against the same wall they'd made love against a few moments before and cried her eyes out for an hour.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jean Luc Picard was waiting for his dueling partner but was not surprised when she showed up a few minutes late. He knew Commander Keel was due back on his ship an hour ago and figured the couple had spent every single minute together. Picard smiled at Walker's happiness with the intriguing lieutenant.
"Hello, Commander," Sheridan greeted her opponent in a subdued voice.
"Hello, Lieutenant. Ready to face me?" Jean Luc decided it would be best to tease her out of the melancholy.
"Absolutely, SIR," the young woman replied, grinning mischievously.
"You are quite a fencer, I believe, are you not?" The challenge was unmistakable and Picard rose to the bait.
"Well, I've been known to wipe the floor with a few opponents, why?" He smiled and chuckled at her mock surprise to his reply.
"Oh, I see. Well, you may have a bit more difficult time dealing with ME." Sheridan was very confident and teasing, but Jean Luc wondered how good she really was since her statement of the previous day indicated the lieutenant had to be top notch if the she intended to win the Fleet match.
"Very well, Madam, whenever you're ready, we'll just see whose blade triumphs." The commander gave her a precise salute with his epee and donned the mask.
The pair were fairly evenly matched. Jean Luc had the slightly greater technique, but Sheridan counted daring and swiftness on her side as well as skill. She bested him two out of three and he conceded the match graciously.
They were both laughing afterwards and the commander offered to walk his opponent home once they were finished.
"Why, thank you, JL, that would be quite nice." The lieutenant did not wish to go back to an empty apartment, "But, only if you consent to have dinner with me, I'll even cook." She smiled sweetly at him, begging Jean Luc with her eyes not to leave her alone this evening.
"Oh, well, in that case, absolutely. How could I possibly turn down such a magnificent offer?" Picard could see the agony in her face at the thought of going home knowing Walker would not be there.
"Great! You go change, I'll pick up some things at the market and meet you there in forty-five minutes. Deal?"
"Deal." He turned on his heel and trotted home to get ready.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Thank you so much for coming over. I really appreciate it." Sheridan said as she kissed his cheek and thanked him for the lovely bottle of wine he produced from behind his back.
"My pleasure, Lieutenant." Walker had asked him to look in on his lover while Jean Luc was still on leave and he would oblige his friend's request. Besides the fact that he really liked this woman and found her refreshing, he didn't want her to have to be alone tonight. The tears were visible just below the surface and he hoped they wouldn't be shed before dinner.
"Come in, come in." Sherry waved him through the door, asked him to open the wine, then disappeared into the kitchen. Jean Luc followed her and leaned against the counter as she prepared their meal.
"So, what's for dinner tonight," he asked as the delicious smells wafted over him.
"One of Bev's favorites. I make it for her sometimes when she's been working too hard. I've got one for her and one for us, so don't feel like you have to leave any for the lovely doctor." She smiled and winked at him. The commander realized Sheridan winked quite a bit, but he enjoyed it. It was a quick, subtle gesture, barely visible, but just enough to allow one to know she was teasing. The mischievous look on her face was much better than the depressed one.
"Tell me about the 'lovely doctor,' Sherry."
"Hmm," the lieutenant contemplated what to tell him first. "Well, she's absolutely gorgeous, not that Bev notices. She's a dancer. Hates to be called 'The Dancing Doctor' though so don't bring that up. Maybe you should just forget I told you that." Sheridan paused, grimaced at him then continued, "She's a lot of fun, at least I think so. Her bedside manner is fabulous and she's the most dedicated doctor I've ever seen. The woman also eats more food than anyone I've ever seen! Oh, actually, maybe you should forget that part too." The lieutenant grimaced again, then smiled.
"Sounds wonderful, too bad I didn't get to meet her." The commander suddenly remembered his dinner date, let out a subdued 'damn' then asked if he could use her computer terminal.
"Sure, be my guest, it's in the living room." Sherry pointed her chin towards the door, then asked, "Is something wrong?"
"No, no, just have to check on something," Jean Luc said as he went to the terminal. He wasn't going to tell her he was canceling a date. He did not want his hostess to feel guilty, and he had no intention of leaving the lonely woman to her own devices in the marginally controlled state she was in right now. Picard felt he owed it to Walker AND to Sheridan to stay for a few hours. Besides, the date he was putting off wasn't nearly as amusing as Lt. Kelsey.
Quietly, Jean Luc postponed his date for another leave and went back to the kitchen.
"Everything all right," Sheridan asked curiously.
"Yes, fine. So, you never did say what it is you're making." The commander deftly turned the conversation back to neutral subjects.
"Oh, it's vegetarian lasagna, and yes I can cook things that aren't Italian, but I thought Bev might like one when she gets home tomorrow. She's always so dog tired after a weekend on call that I hate to see her not eat. The good doctor will consume the food if I prepare it, cook it, and set it in front of her." She laughed and shook her head. Beverly Howard did NOT posses any culinary skills. At all. The woman could barely boil water for tea!
"You and Walker really do take care of her, don't you?" The two acted like the doctor's parents as far as Jean Luc could tell.
"Well, she's been through a lot and she works very hard. I guess Walker and I just think the good doctor doesn't look after herself enough and want to make sure she's all right. That's why he's always trying to find her a date. Not that Bev can't attract her own, she just doesn't think about it and is engulfed in her studies so she doesn't go out much." Sherry explained as she cleaned her utensils and removed the apron. Leaning back against the counter once she was finished with her task, the lieutenant continued her recitation of Beverly Howard's attributes.
"I guess we've just never met anyone like her. She's got a wicked sense of humor, is incredibly intelligent, dedicated as hell, single-minded to the point of anal retentiveness sometimes, and an absolute joy to be around. I've been her roommate for four years now while I did the command post graduate course, I don't even want to THINK about breaking in someone else. We get along beautifully and I love her. Walker's so damned over protective sometimes I want to smack him, but he's always looking out for her. Bev brings out his paternal side." Sheridan paused, looked down, cleared her throat then turned away from the commander.
"Why don't we go in the living room while this cooks?" The lieutenant finally turned back to her guest, a small smile on her lips now.
"Well, fiancee! Congratulations, Lieutenant. I never thought I'd see the day that some woman would capture the likes of Walker Keel." He teased her but she did not respond as he expected.
"It's just.....," she paused, then buried her head in both hands. "It wasn't supposed to turn out like this!"
The commander knelt by her side and tried to get his companion to look at him. "Sherry, what are you talking about? Don't you love him?"
"YES!" Her head shot up and she stared at her guest as if he was supposed to know what she meant. "That's the whole problem!"
"I'm sorry, I don't understand. If you love Walker and he loves you, what's the problem?" Jean Luc couldn't fathom what the young woman was trying to say.
"Dammit, we weren't supposed to fall in love. It won't work. Two command officers, traveling all over the galaxy, never seeing each other. What kind of a life is that?" She begged for his understanding, then looked away, suddenly horrified at her outburst.
"I'm sorry, Jean Luc, I shouldn't have done this to you. It's not your problem and you don't deserve to have your evening spoiled because I can't control my emotions. I'm sorry." She rose to return to the kitchen but he would not allow her to abandon the conversation so easily.
"Sheridan," he said softly as he put his hands on her shoulders. "You have done nothing for which you need to apologize. I hope you think of me as your friend. I know Walker is mine and I certainly consider you one too. If you need to talk about this, I'm more than willing to listen. That's why I'm here. I know you miss him. I know he misses you as much. You don't need to control your emotions with me. Not now, not ever." Jean Luc was a bit surprised at his offer, he wasn't usually this forthcoming with such sympathy. He kept his own feelings rigidly controlled at all times and had gone through a lot of hell to teach himself how to do just that. He did not, however, wish this lovely woman to remain in pain because she didn't feel he would want to hear her concerns.
"Oh, Jean Luc," the lieutenant turned and buried her face in his chest, tea towel clutched tightly over her eyes. She felt like an idiot sobbing like this to a man she barely knew, but the young woman could no longer control the emotions that flooded her.
"It's all right, let it out. Come back into the living room and sit down. Come on," he coaxed and she finally allowed him to lead her to the sofa once more. Jean Luc kept his arm gently around her shoulder and waited until she was ready to speak.
"I...I just don't know how this happened," Sherry cried softly. She managed to get her tears under control and wiped her eyes with the towel, but hesitated at continuing.
"How you fell in love?" The commander was a bit stunned by this admission. Falling for someone was not something one could necessarily control, but if she really didn't want to marry Walker Keel, she did not have to.
"Yes. It was just supposed to be a casual thing for both of us. No emotions, no regrets, no strings attached. I was willing to let him go this morning, but no, he had to TELL me he was in love with me last night!" The lieutenant could no longer sit and began pacing back and forth in front of the couch, her guest looking up at her confused.
"But, aren't you also in love with him?" Jean Luc was very bewildered at this statement.
"Yes, but I wasn't going to TELL him! I was just going to let him go and not see him any more. It would have been a lot simpler if he'd never said anything. We could have just parted ways and gone about our lives without the added hassle of screwing them up like this. But, no, he had to actually propose to me!" She flopped in the chair and buried her face in the towel.
"Sheridan! You are making absolutely no sense!" Jean Luc was incredulous. What the hell was she thinking? If they loved each other they would find a way to work it out. But then, when he considered what the lieutenant was actually saying, he began to comprehend her feelings of frustration.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. You are making sense, but you will simply find some way to deal with this issue. If you love each other, you have to. It's the only way unless you intend to never see each other again." The commander fervently hoped that was not an option his hostess was considering.
"No, it's too late for that now. Walker threatened to sue me for breach of contract AND have me court martialed for insubordination!" Sheridan chuckled at the thought. She'd really like to see THAT one go through Starfleet Legal!
Jean Luc grinned as well. "Sherry, listen to me. You'll deal with it. One way or another, you'll handle it and be happy. If Walker is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then why are you holding back because of some minor obstacles? There's always a solution." He sincerely wanted her to consider his words and waited to see if they sunk in.
"God, you're worse than HE is! 'We'll work it out.' Right. Which basically means I'll end up giving up MY career to be with him! Not going to happen, Commander, not in MY life time! I worked too damned hard to get here, I am NOT giving up my career!" She leaned forward to emphasize her determination as she spoke.
"No one is asking you to give up your career, are they? You will cross that bridge when you both get to it and stop worrying about it before. You're making yourself sick over something that may never happen! Seriously, Sheridan, if this is what you both want, Starfleet should not stand in your way." Jean Luc was thoroughly amazed at himself now. Starfleet was his life, the only life he'd ever wanted and he had pursued that dream relentlessly. The commander had alienated his entire family, except his adoring mother, and was well on his way to achieving those goals now. He was first officer of the Stargazer and anything could happen in space. Picard suddenly realized he would not wish any wife of his to be out there amongst the stars, however, and cringed inwardly at the worry and fear both of his friend's would have to face because of their careers.
"I'm sorry, Sherry, I know this is hard and it's difficult not to be worried every second about him." Jean Luc rose, moved around the coffee table and crouched in front of his new friend once more. "Listen to me. Walker is very level-headed. He doesn't take unnecessary chances and is very careful. You don't have to worry about him. He will come back to you." The commander hoped he wasn't just making her fears worse and looked apprehensively to see if she would take it the way he meant.
"I know, I know. But, I can't help it. I will worry about him until the day I die and there isn't anything that will stop that. I just don't ever want him brought back in a bag. I don't think I could stand that." She looked up and saw him nod at her fears. It didn't help much but she was grateful for his presence.
"Thank you, Jean Luc, for listening. I hope I haven't ruined your evening." Sheridan lowered her head and waited.
"Not at all! I'm glad I was here for you and if you ever need me, don't hesitate to call. Promise me." He ducked his head to look at her face and she brought her head up to smile at him. Leaning forward the lieutenant hugged her guest and thanked him again before disengaging.
'Good thing I'm not attracted to YOU,' she thought before releasing the commander, 'I'd be all over you right now!'
Sheridan rose and walked to the kitchen, retrieving the plates and utensils then set the table.
"I'm sorry you won't get to meet Bev, too," she said changing the subject abruptly.
"Well, I will just have to lick my wounds and retreat with as much dignity as possible then." He smiled and she returned it, knowing the rest of their dinner would be consumed with small talk and easy conversation.
The remainder of Commander Picard's leave was spent getting to know Walker Keel's fiancee and he liked her more every time he saw her, happy that his friend had made such a wonderful choice. He never did manage to catch Beverly Howard at home though. Apparently she had too much studying and too many things to do before going home the following weekend so she was rarely at the apartment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Jean Luc Picard finally returned to Earth a year later, it was to attend his best friend's wedding. Jack Crusher had been the lucky candidate who finally captured Beverly Howard's heart and Commander Picard had STILL not met her. He was looking forward to rectifying that error and enjoying his two week leave. Jean Luc had agreed to meet the groom and his bride-to-be at her apartment so they could be introduced and he could find out how his friends were doing.
Walker would be returning from space the next week and Lt. Kelsey had managed to postpone her assignment to the USS Excalibur as Chief Operations Officer for another two weeks until the wedding was accomplished. Commander Keel had told Jean Luc that Sheridan was still reluctant to get married herself, and had asked Walker to wait a bit so they could see how their assignments in space affected their lives.
Walker reluctantly agreed to this trial, but did not back away from his proposal. Lt. Kelsey was still skittish, but he would eventually convince her and firmly believed that one day soon they would marry.
"JL! How the hell ARE you?" Sheridan lunged at him and hugged him fiercely as the commander braced for the impact and returned the embrace.
"I'm fine, how are YOU?" He leaned back and saw her smile, returning it with pleasure.
"I'll be great once HE'S here! It's when he's gone that I have a problem," the lieutenant whispered to her guest. "I'm glad you're back though. Come in."
"So when do I get to meet the blushing bride?" Jean Luc was anxious to finally set eyes on the woman Walker Keel had so carefully set up with every decent man he knew until she finally picked one to marry. Picard didn't know WHO his friend would now spend his time mothering since Beverly Howard was taken care of.
"Oh, well, that idiot Crusher, he's as bad as Walker! He neglected to tell Beverly that you were arriving THIS week and she had already made plans to take him to Caldos to meet Nana. They won't be back until next week. Of course, you can be my date for the week if you like, or not as you prefer," Sheridan said casually, not wanting the commander to think she had any designs on his time if he preferred to be elsewhere.
"No, that would be lovely. A little fencing, a little riding, some of your fabulous meals. I think I could stand that without too much agony." He grinned wickedly at her and the lieutenant chuckled.
"You are a very bad man, Jean Luc Picard. It's a good thing Walker likes you so much or I'd have to consider throwing you out." The familiar wink followed this statement and the commander felt right at home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A week later, the happy couple and Commander Keel finally arrived and the introductions were at last performed. Walker beamed ecstatically at his successful matchmaking, an arm casually draped around his own fiancee. Jean Luc, however, was stunned into near silence by the vision of Beverly Howard. He had never believed in love at first sight until it smacked him squarely in the heart.
She was incredible. Her laugh made his skin tingle, her voice was exquisite, her face a fantasy come true. She was everything Sheridan had said and much, much more. Commander Picard lost his heart that day to his best friend's soon-to-be wife and he was devastated. 'It's just hormones, Johnny, snap out of it!' His feelings were not controllable, however, and his subdued response was only noticed by one person in the room, Sheridan Kelsey.
Once the meal was finished, the lieutenant asked Jean Luc to help her in the kitchen and he readily agreed. Anything to get away from the all consuming visage of Beverly Howard lounging on her fiancee as Jack caressed her tenderly.
When they were alone in the kitchen, Sheridan spoke quietly as they both stood at the sink, neither concentrating on the dishes in their hands.
"Jean Luc, my friend, talk to me. Something's wrong and I think I have a fair idea what, but I don't want to jump to any conclusions." She nudged him slightly, encouraging him to confide in her.
"No, nothing's wrong, Sherry. Everything's fine." But he would not look at her and she knew he wasn't telling the truth.
"JL, you've never lied to me before, please don't start now. You can talk to me, you know that. Now out with it or I will begin leaping to those assumptions." She knew he would give in eventually, but possibly not tonight so she didn't push too hard.
"It's all right, I'll be fine. Please, don't worry about it." Jean Luc was insistent and she allowed him the silence, vowing to protect him as much as she could from having to encounter the love birds too often.
"Okay, but I'm here if you need to talk, remember that." The lieutenant saw her friend nod and they continued washing the dishes until her lack of concentration broke a wine glass, cutting her palm deeply.
"Dammit!" Sheridan pulled her hand out of the soapy water quickly and Jean Luc rapidly wound the towel he was using around it.
"Thanks," she smiled painfully at him, then winced as he squeezed the towel tighter.
"Bev?" The lieutenant called to her roommate, "I think I need you and your medkit in here."
Dr. Howard responded immediately and took the injured hand from Commander Picard. Sitting her patient down, she gently unwrapped the towel and grimaced at the bloody mess. Taking Sheridan to the sink the doctor washed off the blood then examined the wound completely.
"Hmm, that's a nasty one, Sherry, how'd you do that? The Commander distracting you while you 'washed dishes?'" Beverly teased her roommate as she took her back to the chair to heal the laceration.
"No, it slipped," the injured woman replied sternly, "Now shut up and just fix it, okay?" Sheridan didn't want to prolong this any more than necessary.
"Okay," the doctor replied sheepishly, looking fairly abashed at the reprimand. She had no idea why her roommate was so cranky all of a sudden.
"I'm sorry, Bev. I didn't mean to be so rude." Sheridan kissed her friend's bent head and raised the red head's face so she could see the sincerity in Sherry's eyes.
"It's all right," the physician replied and smiled. "This'll just take a minute, but you need to hold still."
"Yes, Doctor," the brunette replied and smiled again. She glanced up at Jean Luc and saw him staring intently at the back of Beverly's head. The lieutenant shook her own head marginally and turned her eyes away from the longing she saw in his.
The party broke up fairly quickly after that and Sheridan discretely reiterated her offer to talk if Commander Picard wished. He nodded, kissed her cheek, thanked her for dinner and left.
Jack and Beverly went out dancing for the rest of the evening and Sheridan talked Walker into just snuggling on the sofa for a while until they went to bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the end of the 'wedding week' Jean Luc had not gotten over his desire for the lovely doctor and was holding himself in rigid check at all functions where she was present. Sheridan eased as much of his tension as she could, just by knowing why he was nervous, but it didn't really help the commander. He knew she hadn't told Walker, Jean Luc had asked the lieutenant, but that didn't help either. Picard was thoroughly ashamed of his lack of emotional control concerning Beverly Howard and did everything possible to make sure no one else found out.
The commander was grateful for Lt. Kelsey's assistance, however, as it kept him separated from Beverly as much as possible. Once the ceremony was over and they were at the reception, Jean Luc simply gazed at the woman he loved from across the room. He did not even notice when Sheridan came over and stood at his side.
"Jack wants you to dance with her," she whispered, startling him.
"What?" Jean Luc was suddenly panicked.
"Don't go Romulan on me now, JL. We'll deal with it, just stop staring at her so blatantly!" Lt. Kelsey had seen the look in his eyes and winced at how openly adoring it was, which was why she came over in the first place.
"Sorry, I'll try." The commander dropped his head and stared at the drink in his hand.
"It's all right, I don't think anyone else noticed. I'm sorry, Jean Luc. I wish I could do something more to help you. I hate seeing you like this." Sherry was quietly sympathetic and wanted him to know he had her full support.
"Yes, it's pathetic. I am fully aware of that, Lieutenant." Jean Luc was angry now, not necessarily at her, just at his own inability to shut down his emotions.
Sheridan moved quickly in front of him, blocking his view of the room and the guests' view of him. "Jean Luc, it is NOT pathetic. You are the one who told ME one cannot necessarily control one's feelings for someone. It doesn't matter who she is or who she just married. How you feel is how you feel. You're going to have to deal with it, but stop being so ashamed, you can't help it. Now come dance with me." She took his hand but did not drag him out on the floor, waiting for him to respond to her offer.
"No, wait, Sherry." He looked up at her and begged his friend to just stay where she was with his eyes. The lieutenant complied.
"If I dance with you then I won't have any excuse not to dance with Beverly. If I tell her I don't dance then maybe she'll accept that and I'll be off the hook," his statement was heartfelt and pleading for his friend to understand.
"Okay, I have no problem with that. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it. Just tell me?" Sheridan looked intently at her friend and finally he nodded slightly, then looked down again. She resumed her position beside him, marginally touching his shoulder with hers until Beverly walked up to them.
"Would you dance with me, Jean Luc?" Her question was soft and sincerely spoken. It was all Picard could do to refuse. The lieutenant jumped in when he did not answer immediately.
"He won't dance with me either, Bev. How about I dance with you?" She winked and took her roommate's arm, drawing her away from the mute commander, looking back once to make sure he was not following.
"He hates me, doesn't he," Mrs. Crusher asked her best friend sadly. She could not figure out what she'd done to make the man dislike her so much but Jean Luc had barely spoken twenty words to her in a week and was very subdued whenever she was around. Beverly knew he wasn't like that with anyone else in their group and he obviously liked Sheridan quite a lot. Hell, Walker was beginning to have jealous thoughts which Jack told him were nonsense. The newly minted Mrs. Crusher agreed. Her roommate was seriously in love with Commander Keel and Beverly knew that without doubt.
"Not at all, Bev. He's just not very animated. He likes you, trust me." She turned the lovely bride towards her and kissed one fair cheek before leaning back and smiling brightly at her married roommate.
"Jean Luc is just reserved. You'll get used to him. Stop worrying about whether he likes you or not. He does, 'nuff said." Sheridan nodded her head emphatically once then turned them to meet her fiancee and the bridegroom walking in their direction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Six months after the Crusher's wedding, each member of the group had settled into a routine. Jack and Jean Luc were back on the Stargazer. Beverly resumed her studies and research, pleased to find out she was pregnant and due in another six months. Walker was aboard the Horatio, executing his duties as first officer with efficiency and skill. Sheridan Kelsey was now on the Excalibur as chief operations officer.
The lieutenant sat in her quarters, dejected and depressed. The Excalibur's CMO had just informed Sheridan she was pregnant, but could not explain the failure of the young woman's contraceptive device or the father's. Lt. Kelsey was feeling thoroughly sorry for herself after two hours of contemplating the matter and decided to call her best friend for some sympathy.
Beverly answered the call and immediately knew something was wrong with her former roommate.
"What is it, Sherry? Are you all right?" Dr. Crusher was now anxious, the woman on her terminal screen had obviously been crying and Sheridan Kelsey NEVER cried as far as Beverly knew.
"No, Bev, I'm not. Dr. Brant just told me I'm pregnant. Surprise!" The young woman was sarcastic with her last exclamation.
"Oh, Sherry," the red head said quietly trying to contain her joy at the news because her friend obviously was not happy about it.
"I know the timing is bad, but aren't you at least a tiny bit happy about this?" The doctor nudged Sheridan verbally.
"Oh, Bev, I suppose, but what the hell am I supposed to do now? Come back and set up a nursery with you?" The lieutenant was obviously not ready to deal with this news.
"Well, how far along are you?" The doctor kicked in to play and Beverly let her medical persona take over.
"A month," Sherry said dejectedly.
"So, you've got at LEAST five more months before you MIGHT have to be transferred," Beverly said hopefully.
"Great, then what?"
"I don't know, Sherry! That's something you and Walker will have to decide. Have you told him yet?" Beverly was clearly frustrated with her friend's attitude but didn't know how to dispel it.
"No, you're the first person I called. I'm not too sure how I feel about this yet." Sheridan didn't say what she was really thinking in concrete terms, but her former roommate understood.
"Don't you think that's something Walker should have a say about?" Beverly's tone became a bit more stern and disapproving.
"Probably, but not this very second." The lieutenant knew it was unfair to consider the option before telling the father, but if he didn't know, he couldn't object.
"Sherry, listen to me. I know this isn't what you planned, but I also know that Walker Keel loves you dearly and will be thrilled by this news. You HAVE to tell him, no matter what you decide. Please, tell me you understand that and will call him the second we're through." Beverly pleaded with the woman on her screen not to make any rash decisions.
"I do understand that, Bev. I just wish it hadn't happened." Sheridan was depressed and no longer felt like talking to her adamant roommate anymore.
"How the hell DID it happen? I know Jack and I planned this baby, but..."
"The doctor doesn't know yet. As far as he can tell, my contraceptive implant should be working fine." The lieutenant shrugged.
"Hmm, well, they aren't 100% fool proof, but I'm still surprised." Dr. Crusher would have liked to do the tests on both her friend's devices to find out how this happened, but knew it was impossible.
"I'm not. It's par for the course. First a little casual affair turns into a serious relationship, which turns into a proposal which segues into a baby. It was inevitable!" The defeated brunette spat out.
"Sheridan Kelsey! Stop this! You're just pouting and that is totally unlike you. Snap out of it! Now, call Walker and tell the man he's going to be a father or I'll do it myself!" Beverly had no intention of doing such a thing, but the threat was good enough to hold over her friend's head.
The lieutenant nodded, thanked her friend for listening and cut the transmission. She did not, however, call her baby's father just yet.
"JL?"
"Sherry! This is a surprise!" Commander Picard looked closely at the screen then halted his exuberant greeting.
"What's wrong, my friend," Jean Luc asked gently.
"I'm pregnant." Sheridan didn't even TRY to soften the statement.
Picard rubbed one hand across his eyes and said, "Does Walker know yet?"
"No," the lieutenant answered quietly.
"Are you going to tell him?"
"I don't know, Jean Luc, do you think I should?" Sheridan knew he understood her real question and her eyes begged him to give her his HONEST opinion.
"Yes," the commander replied without hesitation, but did not push his friend. "I think he has a right to know. I would certainly want to know if it were my child," he offered as a quick afterthought.
"Would you? Even if.....even if she was thinking about terminating it?" Sherry couldn't ask the question in the first person singular.
"Yes, absolutely. I'd also try to talk her out of it," Jean Luc still didn't press, simply gave her his candid opinion.
The lieutenant nodded slightly, then spoke, "Thanks, JL. I appreciate your listening and the honest answers. I'll call him now."
"Good-bye, my friend and let me know how you're doing?" He smiled, she nodded again and the transmission ended.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sheridan sat for a few minutes before mustering the courage to call her fiancee.
"Hey! Hello, my love," Walker beamed as his terminal came to life.
"How is my little love muffin?" He chuckled at the grimace on his lover's face.
"I'm fine, Pookie, how are you?" Sherry wasn't going to just jump right into the discussion and played along.
"All right, but I miss you horribly," Commander Keel smiled sadly, then noticed the tenseness in his partner. "What's wrong, Sherry?"
"Nothing, Love, I just miss you." She diverted his attention for a few minutes by telling him Beverly was doing fine and she'd spoken with Jean Luc.
"Oh? Why?" Walker was still not completely convinced his lover wasn't interested in his French friend.
"God, Walker, stop it! I just wanted to say hi and ask his opinion about something. I love YOU, you big idiot!" Sherry was exasperated that her fiancee hadn't figured that out yet.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry," Walker apologized, then looked off screen abruptly and swore, "Damn, red alert. Sherry, I have to go." He moved quickly, but she managed to speak before he cut her off.
"No, WAIT, Walker! I have to tell you something."
"Honey, I can't! I'll call you back as soon as I can. I love you!" With that, the commander ended the conversation and ran to his bridge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Damn!" Sheridan leaned back in her chair and swore once more, then contemplated the fact that she was now even more worried that she might lose her lover AND be pregnant with his child all at the same time.
Making a snap decision, the lieutenant decided to dictate her fiancee a message. It was heart felt and comprehensive, telling him she would gladly keep the baby if that's what he wanted and that she was positive it was what he would decide. She did not, however, send it. Something made her hold back just yet.
Once she finished, the lieutenant paced her quarters worrying about Walker's safety and what she intended to do next. Her musings finally wore her out enough to make her sleep.
The next morning Sheridan was no longer sure of her decision. She didn't WANT to give up her career now. Not when she was doing so well. The captain had noticed her quick thinking and intelligent deductions in the last little crisis and was commending her for the actions she took. If things kept going this way, she'd make lieutenant commander VERY soon.
The young woman put the letter to Walker aside when her shift ended that day then sent one to Picard telling him of her new decision. She was not too surprised when he called her the next day.
"Sherry?"
"Hello, JL? How are you," the lieutenant said calmly, although she knew why her friend was calling.
"I'm fine, but that's not the issue here. I thought you were going to tell Walker of his impending fatherhood. Why did you change your mind?" Picard knew this was really none of his business, but he could not stay out of it. She had pulled him in and he had to make a case for his friend's right to know.
"I was, but...." Sheridan dropped her head and groaned. "Please don't do this to me! I finally have it figured out and you come along telling me I'm wrong!"
"Listen," Jean Luc said, exasperated with the woman on his screen, "If you didn't want to be harassed about this then why did you go to all the trouble of sending me the letter? I wouldn't have been the wiser unless I spoke to Walker directly. I can only surmise that you obviously WANTED me to call you on it."
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I just don't know what to do! I don't want to give up my career. Now, before you say I don't have to, you and I both know that isn't true. If I have this baby, I can't stay on the Excalibur. We're both fully aware of the consequences. Don't pretend with me, Jean Luc. You know it as well as I do." Her tone was accusing but her eyes pleaded with him to understand.
Picard was relieved that her phrasing indicated she had not yet made a final decision so he tried to convince her to share the news with the baby's father.
"Sherry, I care about you and Walker. I KNOW he would want you to tell him about this. I understand that it will be very difficult but you two will work it out. Who knows, maybe he'll agree with you. But, you have to tell him."
"God, Jean Luc! Why? If he doesn't know then he won't be disappointed! It will be better for him in the long run." She was trying to convince herself as much as Picard.
"You don't really believe that, Sheridan. You know it's wrong not to tell him. You said so yourself. He needs to be included."
"I know, but....." the lieutenant hesitated, she wasn't sure what to do now. "JL, promise me," the woman pleaded.
"What?" Picard winced at the thought of what his friend might ask.
"Don't tell him if you do talk to him. I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but I have to make this decision myself. Please, promise you won't say anything?"
He was very reluctant to agree but knew it was not his place to inform Walker Keel of this event. He nodded to her request.
"Say it, Jean Luc." Sheridan needed to hear him acquiesce to her demand.
"All right, Sherry, I promise I won't tell Walker about this, but you must."
Now the lieutenant nodded and signed off, more confused than she had been before, but realizing he'd been right. She did send the message to Jean Luc so he would call her and talk her out of giving up the baby. The tears flowed again and the young woman spent another tormented night in her quarters.
Sheridan never did tell her fiancee of her condition.
Lt. Kelsey moved quickly to the bridge after the red alert sounded two weeks later and saw the Cardassian vessel on the screen bearing down on the Excalibur's position, firing photon torpedoes at them as it came nearer. She had barely sat down when one of the devices rocked her ship. The second caused a massive explosion at Ops, throwing the lieutenant a full meter backwards. Sheridan Kelsey never knew what hit her, she was dead before landing in front of the captain's chair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the battle, the USS Excalibur limped to the nearest space station, having finally routed the Cardassians, the captain sent condolence messages to the next of kin. There were twelve fatalities on his vessel, two of which were bridge officers. Captain Serrelius transmitted the notifications along with the final statements each Starfleet crew member was required to make before any assignments in space and sat back to wait for the replies along with their arrival at the Starbase.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Commander Picard saw the light flashing on his terminal when he returned to his quarters after his shift on the bridge. Two messages were waiting. He opened the one from his friend first. The small smile on her face assured him she was doing better now. The timecode indicated the young woman had sent the transmission several hours ago.
"Hi, JL. Before you ask, no, I haven't had the chance to tell him he's going to be a father yet." The lieutenant's head bowed momentarily, in worry, "I'm really worried about him. I haven't heard from him since that night and I don't know what to do. I called him and tried to tell him but the red alert went off and he had to go." She sighed, closed her eyes tightly, then continued.
"I just wanted to let you and Bev know that I've decided to keep the baby if that's what Walker wants. I don't know yet HOW we're going to swing it, but we'll manage. I love him too much to do anything else and I don't think I could consciously terminate his child even if that's what I truly wanted to do. Bev was right. There is a part of me that I don't want to let out yet that is completely thrilled by this. It's just so hard to give up what I've worked for my whole life. I know you understand that, JL. All you've ever wanted was Starfleet and your own command. It's what I've always wanted too. Walker changed all that. Not just because of how I feel about him, but my priorities, my dreams. But it's damned hard letting the old ones go."
Sheridan laughed abruptly then looked directly at her screen. "Did you know that big goof thinks you and I are having an affair?" She shook her head at Walker's absurd notions. "The man just has no clue! I haven't even LOOKED at anyone else since I met him! No offense, JL, but you could probably be stark naked, laying seductively in my bed and I'd just wonder why HE wasn't there!" She laughed again.
Becoming suddenly serious once more, Sheridan continued, "I'm totally obsessed with him. It's a bit scary to love someone that much, but as long as it's mutual, what the hell?" She paused and frowned slightly, then resumed, "Sometimes it frightens me to realize how much he loves me. I'm not sure I can live up to those expectations." Taking a deep breath she shook off the thought and went on with her message.
"No, there's no way I could give this baby the heave ho. It's ours and was meant to be! Hell, the poor thing had to weasel its way through TWO contraceptive implants to get here. It wouldn't be fair if we didn't give it a chance." She smiled. "Thanks for listening, my friend. And thanks for the advice, it helped. I just hope I get to talk to him soon."
Concluding her transmission, the lieutenant wrapped up, "See you soon. I hope." She winked and shut off the terminal.
Jean Luc chuckled and was very pleased with the letter. Sheridan and Walker would be fine.
Calling up the next message, the commander was surprised to see the Excalibur logo again, then the face of Lt. Kelsey's captain on the screen. A tight knot formed in his stomach as Jean Luc leaned forward.
"Commander Picard, I am Captain Sirrelius of the USS Excalibur. I regret to inform you that Lt. Sheridan Kelsey was killed in the line of duty today. The Ops station exploded after a direct photon torpedo hit from a Cardassian warship. She was killed instantly and my CMO assures me she suffered no pain."
"I assume you know Lt. Kelsey listed you as her next of kin, or at least the person she wished to be notified in case of an emergency or her death. I am forwarding her final statement with this message and her effects will be sent to you as soon as possible. I would appreciate a reply from you letting me know where you would like Sheridan's body shipped."
"I'm sorry, Commander. We lost twelve good people today, so I must continue with this sad task. You have my sincerest condolences. Sirrelius out."
Jean Luc was stunned and did not try to stop the tear that fell down his cheek. He had no idea Sheridan listed him as next of kin or why. Allowing her final statement to roll along after the captain's statement, he hoped she would explain. He was too shocked by the news to do anything else.
"Hey, JL! Um, I guess if you're listening to this, then I'm dead." The lieutenant winced at the thought, but continued since she wasn't deceased when recording it.
"First of all, I'm sure you're curious why you are watching this instead of my handsome lover." Sheridan winked and Jean Luc couldn't help the small sob that escaped his throat at the familiar gesture.
"Well, to be blunt...now THERE'S a surprise!...." She rolled her eyes then continued, "I don't want Walker finding out I'm dead through some impersonal notification. Captain Serrelius isn't big on warm fuzzies and it would kill Walker to find out like that. I know he's very strong, but I also know how much we mean to each other. JL, I'd rather you told him than my commanding officer. I was going to have Bev do it, but I'll need you to be very careful telling her now as well. I changed the notification name and this message when I found out she was pregnant. She doesn't need the shock and I didn't want her to have to tell Walker."
The lieutenant's face turned more serious now as she resumed, "I know I'm asking a lot, Jean Luc, but I know you love us both. I'm sorry to burden you with such a task but I had to do it this way. I hope you understand that. I didn't want to spring it on you like this, but I wasn't sure you'd agree and I couldn't ask Walker for his approval. It was all the big goof could do last time we parted not to ORDER me to stay on Earth! As if I'd do any such thing! Tell him I love him with every fiber of my being and I'm sorry it was me first. I know how much that will hurt, I think about the possibility of losing him every day and it's almost more than I can bear." She paused at the horrible thought of her fiancee dying before her, then continued abruptly.
"Oh, um, maybe you should have Jack tell the lovely doctor of my untimely demise. It'll be easier that way. Tell Jack to let Bev know I'll be watching out for her. I love the little red head with all my heart and hope I get to see that baby of theirs. Of course, if I haven't changed this message then I probably kicked before the happy event, but tell them....tell them I'll look out for him too." Sheridan smiled slightly at her sudden thought to alleviate some of her friend's trauma.
"You've been a good friend to both of us and I'm truly glad Walker brought you over that night. Thanks for being there for me when I needed you. Even now, when it will be the last time. I love you, too, but then who could resist such a fabulous Frenchman?" Sheridan winked again not wanting to end her message on a morbid note.
She reached to cut the transmission but stayed her hand for one more moment.
"Hey, by the way, Picard, lighten up for God's sake! Don't be so damned tight assed all the time, enjoy life a little. You're French! Use that!" She winked for the last time then the Starfleet logo appeared.
'Oh, God,' he thought, 'How the hell am I supposed to tell Walker Keel the love of his life is dead? AND that she was pregnant with his child?'
Calling Jack Crusher instead, Jean Luc asked the younger man to come to his quarters as soon as possible. Once Jack appeared, Picard told him Sheridan had been killed and she wanted Jean Luc to tell her fiancee. He also told his friend she'd asked for Jack to inform his wife as gently as possible and the message she'd left for her former roommate. Jean Luc played the notification from Captain Serrelius for Commander Crusher, then the two men sat in silence for a while before the younger one went to his quarters to contact his wife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beverly Crusher came wearily through the door after her lab. She was still tired all the time and it didn't help that her hormones were raging out of control. She smiled at the thought that Sherry was probably experiencing the same things right now. The doctor just hoped there was no morning sickness for her friend.
Going to the kitchen and replicating some dinner, she went back out to her terminal, calling up the messages and smiled that she had one from her former roommate and one from her husband. The newlywed expectant mother accessed Jack's message first. It was unusually short. He simply asked her to call him immediately.
Beverly left her roommate's message for later, now too worried about her husband to consider it. The doctor sent a silent prayer to any deity listening that Jack and Jean Luc were safe while waiting for the transmission to connect.
"Hi, Baby," Jack said with a wan smile as he answered the call.
"Hi, what's wrong?" Beverly couldn't wait, she was too concerned now.
"Um, well.....I have some really bad news for you, Bev. I want you to try and stay calm though." The man didn't really know how to ease into this.
"JACK!! WHAT?!"
"Honey, calm down. Just take a deep breath for me first then I'll tell you." He waited until she complied then continued, "The Excalibur was in quite a heated battle with a Cardassian ship today," he paused to let that part sink in.
"Oh, God, Sherry! How bad is she hurt? Did she lose the baby?" Dr. Crusher was a little hysterical but tried to ask the pertinent questions.
"What? She was pregnant?" Commander Crusher was so surprised he let the past tense slip.
"What do mean 'was,' Jack? Oh, God, NO!" Beverly started to cry as the implications hit her.
"I'm sorry, Honey. Sherry was killed instantly. The Ops station blew up in her face when the torpedo hit. She didn't feel a thing." The commander was grasping for any silver lining at this point.
Beverly just nodded, then touched his face on her screen. The news made her want him with her desperately.
"Does Walker know?" The doctor could not speak above a whisper.
"No, Baby, not yet. Picard's trying to contact him now, but the Horatio has been in some heavy fights lately and he hasn't called back yet." Jack stayed there, waiting for his wife to calm down and talk to him.
"Why Jean Luc?" Beverly was mildly concerned at the thought her former roommate hadn't listed her fiancee as next of kin.
"Sherry wanted Johnny to tell Walker if anything happened to her. She didn't want him to just get an impersonal notification. She had apparently listed you, but put Picard's name on it when she found out you were pregnant. Sherry didn't want you to be shocked AND alone. I wish I could be there with you, Baby." Jack wanted to hold her so badly he could almost feel her across the screen right now.
"Me, too, Jack," Beverly whispered. Remembering the message she still had waiting, her eyes widened. "Oh, God, Jack, Sherry sent me a message. She must've done it right before...." The red head lowered her face to her hands and cried harder. She wasn't sure she had the courage to look at her friend's final transmission.
"Bev, Honey, don't watch it until you're ready. Promise me. Don't put yourself through that. It's okay. Sherry would understand. Jean Luc said she sent him a message too. He said she was happier than when they'd talked last." The commander was still seeking any piece of good news he could find for his wife, but did not tell her about the lieutenant's final message to Beverly. It was too much, too soon.
"Really?" Beverly was relieved to hear that much, although curious why Sheridan would have called Commander Picard in the state she'd been in lately. The doctor realized she'd probably have to watch her friend's recording to find out.
"I'm glad. She called me a couple weeks ago too and was not very pleased about the baby. She promised me she'd tell Walker though."
"I'm so sorry, Baby." Jack didn't know what else to say.
"I know, Jack, me too. Thanks for calling me. I'm glad it was you who gave me the news. Take care of yourself, Honey. I miss you! We BOTH miss you." Beverly kissed her fingers, touched them to her slightly rounded stomach then placed them on the screen.
"I miss you too! Tell him I'll be there for his birthday though." Jack smiled and continued, "I wish it could be now, but we'll have to wait a few more months. I love you, Baby." The commander repeated his wife's gesture, kissing his fingers then touching them to the screen.
Once her husband's face was gone from the screen, Beverly sat crying for a long time until she decided to have a cup of tea before attempting to listen to Sherry's last message.
Finally garnering the nerve she needed, Dr. Crusher pulled up the communication and punched the play button. The sight of her now dead friend's face made the tears flow instantly but she did not shut it off.
"Hey, Red," Sheridan said with a much happier look on her face than the last time Beverly had seen it.
"I just wanted my little mother hen to know that I tried to tell my fiancee the joyous news, but he had to scramble before I could get it out. Now, before you roll those baby blues, I sent him a message before doing this one and asked him to call me immediately. I tried, Bevy. I just didn't want to dump it on him without any build up and we only got to talk for a few minutes before all hell broke loose on his ship. I haven't heard from him since and that was two weeks ago. I'm hoping he'll call soon." Sheridan leaned her head back, squeezed her eyes shut and sighed heavily.
"You know, I'm even more worried now! What if my baby never gets to meet its father? Damn, Bev, tell me that won't happen!" Sherry paused, then smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Red. Didn't mean to go THERE. Forget I said it."
"Anyway," the lieutenant continued quickly, "I just wanted you and Jean Luc to know. I talked to JL after speaking with you and we've been in touch a few times since then so I could get a male perspective. I want you both to know that Walker and I are going to be very proud parents regardless of what I have to do for this little one." She smiled and patted her flat stomach.
"You were right, Bev. I am happy. I love Walker. That's the plain hard fact of the matter and I could never do something so selfish it would hurt him this much. He's worth it and so is this one." She patted her abdomen again. "I guess I'll probably be seeing you a lot sooner than I planned. I don't think I want to take any risks out here. At least, not now. I'm going to request a transfer back to Earth. I haven't a clue what I'll do there, but maybe I can come up with something interesting before it actually goes through. Perhaps I'll just let Commander Keel support me. Who knows, that could be amusing, don't you think?" Sheridan winked at her friend then conveyed her good-byes and signed off.
Beverly was sobbing hard by the time the message ended and knew she had to calm down. The doctor tried to control her breathing, but it was very difficult. Finally, crying a bit more gently, she moved to the sofa, grabbed a pillow and curled into a ball around it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Walker Keel was exhausted by the time he returned to his quarters. The situation had been intense and long the past few weeks. The strain was beginning to show on all the crew. The stand off today with the alien ship had finally been settled peacefully but it took all the captain's skill (and a lot of his first officer's as well) to negotiate a mutually beneficial truce.
The commander plopped in his chair, ready to call his fiancee. He saw that there was a message from her and one from Jean Luc. Taking his lover's first, Walker began the playback.
"Hello, Love. How are you? I really need to talk to you as soon as possible, Walker. Call me." Sheridan looked down, sighed, took a deep breath, squeezed her eyes shut then looked up once more.
"I love you. I have some news for you I think you might like but I want to tell you face-to-face, not like this. Call me. I miss you."
Before the man could listen further he received notification of an incoming live transmission and switched over.
"Keel, here," he said professionally.
"Walker, thank God!" Jean Luc was only slightly relieved that he caught his friend.
"Jean Luc! How the hell are you? Listen, can I call you back? I need to talk to Sherry and I don't want to miss any opportunity. It's a little dicey here so I need to call her first." The man was antsy wondering what his fiancee had to tell him and conveyed that fact to his now totally distraught friend.
"Walker, I have something to tell you. I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to do this now, but you need to know." Jean Luc was heartbroken and devastated at the thought of actually shattering Walker's dreams.
"What?" Commander Keel suddenly noticed the troubled look on his friend's face.
"Walker there's.....Damn, I'm sorry, but I don't know how else to say this. The Excalibur was in a sudden fire fight with a Cardassian ship. They took a serious beating." Picard paused and heard his friend whisper the lieutenant's name.
"Sheridan's gone, Walker. The Ops station blew up and killed her instantly." Picard paused, his stomach twisted in knots.
"What?" Walker Keel was too stunned to say anything else. This had to be some sort of horrible mistake.
"No, Jean Luc, I just got a message from her. You must be wrong." His voice was escalating in denial.
Picard shook his head slowly. "No, Walker, it's true. Her captain sent me the notification. Sherry didn't want you to get the news that way. She thought it would be easier coming from a friend. She didn't trust her commanding officer to break it to you gently enough." Jean Luc sighed at the thought that he hadn't done such a great job either.
"No, Jean Luc, it can't be! Why would she do that?" Commander Keel wasn't comprehending anything right now.
"I don't know except that she didn't want you to just get an impersonal message. I'm sorry, my friend. I wish I could do something besides say that, but I don't know what else to say." He paused, hating what he had to say next as much as telling him the excruciating news of her death.
"Walker," Jean Luc hesitated, "there's more."
"What? Do you know what it was she intended to tell me? Sherry said she had some good news for me, but wouldn't say what it was until we could talk face-to...." The man couldn't continue speaking but stared at his friend.
Picard nodded, swallowed and quietly replied, "Sheridan was going to have a baby, Walker. She wanted to tell you, but could never get in touch with you."
"She what?" Keel was stunned beyond belief. He couldn't even move. His fiancee was pregnant and Jean Luc Picard knew about it first? What the hell was that all about?
"Was it yours?" Walker asked the first question that came to his overloaded brain.
"WHAT? NO! Walker, good God! How could you even ask such a thing? Sheridan Kelsey loved you more than life itself. You KNOW that! That child was yours. I never touched her nor would she have wanted me to!" Jean Luc was stunned himself now. How could the man possibly think that of the wonderful woman he'd loved so dearly?
Keel nodded at the reprimand, realizing his friend was right and he'd only reacted because of the pain that now began to seep into his system. It was an ache he could not hope to control.
"Why, Jean Luc? Why did she tell you and not me?" His astounded, emotionless voice whispered to Picard.
"Walker, I can only tell you that she wanted the baby and had decided to tell you. She was torn about whether or not to keep it but finally decided she had to because she loved you so much." Jean Luc hated explaining this to him. He could see the devastation the confession was causing.
"How long have you known?" Keel's tone was slightly accusing. Even if he hadn't spoken with his fiancee in the past few weeks, Walker had certainly talked to Jean Luc since the Stargazer was closer to the Horatio's position.
"The day she found out," he murmured to the distraught man, "A little over two weeks."
"Yet you kept that secret to yourself. Why?" Walker was showing the bitterness that his supposed friend had the opportunity to revel in this joyous news but had not shared it with the man most concerned.
"Sheridan made me promise not to tell you until she could." Picard begged his friend with his voice and eyes to understand why he hadn't divulged the information.
Walker Keel just stared at him accusingly, shaking his head.
"I'll send you her final statement and the letter she sent me today. I know she'd want you to have them." Jean Luc was grasping for anything now. "Walker, we have to tell them where to send her body. They need to know. I'm sorry. I wish...." He didn't finish as the tears streamed down his face and his friend's.
"All right." Walker was in shock. He didn't even realize what he was saying and his friend's words no longer registered.
"Walker?"
"I'll call you back. I can't do this right now." The commander was numb and terminated the transmission, not realizing the paused messaged would come back instantly.
"My love, I'm fairly sure you're going to be seriously happy about this news. I want you to be." Her glowing face smiled at him nervously when he looked up.
"NNNOOOO!" Commander Keel backhanded the terminal to the floor, which ended the message he could no longer bear listening to.
The distraught man fell to the floor, curled up on his knees and sobbed uncontrollably. Hours later, when his exhausted body fell asleep, he dreamed of the woman he loved and their child. Happy visions danced through his mind until they would end abruptly with his wife being killed in some hideous manner. His mind, however, would not allow him to wake just yet, so the illusions played continually until his captain pressed the door chime several times the next morning.
Walker's commanding officer had been notified by Jean Luc that his first officer was grieving for his lost fiancee and their unborn child. The captain intended to do what he could to help his friend and exec. It was the least he could do. Having been bereft of his own wife several years ago, the man could relate and would offer whatever Walker Keel needed to help him through this horrendous time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Walker Keel became a quiet, solitary man after that day. The joy in life seemed to escape him almost completely. He avoided his friends for a long time, unable to see their happiness and not remember what he'd lost. The bitterness turned to sorrow and left a gaping wound in his soul. The man buried himself in his work, finally taking command of the USS Horatio a few years later.
He remained friends with Jean Luc Picard but the two never again openly discussed Sheridan Kelsey. Keel conveyed his wishes for her remains to be shipped to his family's cemetery through Jack Crusher. Any allusions to the young woman were veiled between the two captains, even after many years. Right before his death, Walker told Captain Picard that Jean Luc owed him and Picard never even questioned what he meant by that statement. He knew. Keel had never fully forgiven his friend for not having told him of his impending fatherhood when he had the chance. It probably would not have made a difference in the outcome, but Walker wished he'd known so he could at least have told his love how happy he would have been.
Jean Luc never really forgave himself either and was grateful that the Crusher's refrained from speaking of Lt. Kelsey in his presence. She was now a cherished memory that he did not discuss with anyone. He knew Walker finally shared his loss with Beverly and Jack, but Picard was content to let his two friends try to assuage the grief Keel felt at his fiancee's death. He also realized the couple knew of his own despair and was grateful they did not push him to open up to them. The man had enough problems dealing with the fact that he was in love with his best friend's wife let alone pouring out his emotions to the woman. Jean Luc would never be able to control himself in that situation and avoided it like the Tarellian plague.
Picard occasionally played Sheridan's last message whenever he felt seriously guilty about his feelings for Beverly Crusher. He also played it after Jack's death and his grief at the loss. It was once again brought out when Dr. Crusher became his CMO on the USS Enterprise and at various points when he wished to feel Sherry's presence and see that mischievous wink once more. That look could always make him smile wistfully. He hoped Beverly's memories of her former roommate were as cherished as his own, but would not ask her to share them with him. Jean Luc still could not talk about Lt. Kelsey with his best friend's widow. Sheridan was the only person who ever knew until the captain and doctor were kidnapped by the Prytt. Even then, Picard could not tell the woman he'd loved for years how much he missed their friend.
Jean Luc could see Sherry roll her eyes at his stubbornness and even hear her tell him to loosen up. He would smile, then let his captain's mask fall back into place and return her memory to the place it resided in his mind.
'Someday, my friend,' he would think, 'Someday I'll shock you and actually tell Beverly Crusher exactly how I feel and I'll hear you laugh again.'
THE END