Rating: PG, maybe PG-13, but nothing one would not witness on TV during any prime time show.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all, including me, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to play with the merchandise.
Dr. Crusher decided it was definitely time to take a break from the research she'd been doing. She had been in her lab for over ten hours and her back was seriously beginning to hurt now. Beverly thought she might be able to work out some of the kinks if she took a walk and perhaps had some dinner in Ten Forward.
As she entered, Dr. Crusher scanned the room to see if any of her friends were there. Spotting Deanna Troi and Will Riker at a table near one of the viewports, she made her way towards them.
".....we'll be leaving at 2300 hours," the CMO heard the first officer say as she approached.
"We're leaving for where at 2300 hours, Will," Beverly asked, mildly curious.
"Hello Beverly," the commander said instead of answering her question. "How's the research going?"
"Fine. Thought I'd take a little break. Mind if I join you?"
"No, not at all," he said scooting a chair out with his foot for her to sit. Beverly smiled at Deanna, touching her arm in greeting, as she took the seat and ordered dinner from the hovering waiter.
"So, where are we off to this time," the doctor asked again.
"Mondra III," Will finally answered.
"But, I thought we weren't going on that mission until the captain returned," Beverly said, a bit confused by the sudden change in their schedule.
Captain Picard had been on leave for the past two weeks and was not due back for another two. The captain had gone to Ba'ku to visit with his new found 'friends.' Beverly had been contemplating her future since Picard's departure. She hadn't made any decisions yet, but was seriously considering her options at this point. She was hurt, again, by Jean Luc's 'running off' with another woman who wasn't her. The good doctor knew she had only herself to blame for the situation as she had declined every invitation Jean Luc made for them to move their relationship forward. It was her own damned fault! Of course, that revelation only made it hurt worse. She couldn't decide whether to stay and try to endure the pain or to resign and move on with her life without Jean Luc Picard.
"We aren't," Deanna said, perplexed at Beverly's comment.
"What do you mean?" Dr. Crusher was even more bewildered than Deanna.
"The captain beamed aboard a few hours ago, Beverly," Will answered her question. "He's on the bridge right now preparing for the mission." The first officer was a bit confused himself. He naturally assumed the captain would contact his CMO first thing. That, however, did not seem to be the case.
"He is?" Beverly was a bit stunned. Jean Luc wasn't expected back for two more weeks! What the hell was going on? "Was there an emergency?"
"No, he apparently decided to cut short his leave and came back early," Deanna answered the doctor's query. She could feel Beverly's torrent of emotions and knew exactly what was happening in her friend's mind. The counselor had tried to discuss these feelings with Beverly, but was always rebuffed, put off or simply ignored. Deanna had finally given up. There was little more she could do if Dr. Crusher insisted on being this stubborn.
"Did he say why?" Beverly didn't think she would get an answer from either Will or Deanna, but made the attempt anyway.
"No, and I didn't feel it was appropriate for me to ask," Will replied. He considered the captain a friend, but there were limits to that friendship between the commanding officer and his exec.
Beverly sat there a moment considering this unanticipated news, then rose slowly and turned towards the doors. Her pace increased with every step. What had happened to make him come back so soon? Why hadn't he contacted her when he beamed aboard? What the hell was going on and what was she going to do now?
Without conscious thought, Beverly made a beeline for her quarters. As soon as the door closed she stopped, not really knowing what she intended to do. The doctor had been too intent wondering WHY he was back early. Was it a good omen, or bad? Did it mean anything at all? Why hadn't he contacted her? What the hell was going on?
Dr. Crusher began pacing trying to calm herself and evaluate her feelings, the implications of his return, her feelings about the implications of his return, what he might do next, her feelings about what he might do next, what she should do, if anything, and her feelings about that. It took her a few minutes to realize this really boiled down to her feelings and she didn't want to deal with those annoying things right now. What the hell was he doing back so soon????
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Jean Luc Picard had immediately gone to the bridge upon his return to the USS Enterprise E a few hours before. After receiving an update on the condition of the ship and their current position and status, the captain retired to his ready room.
Jean Luc was contemplating his recent leave. Had his expectations of Anij been so out of proportion to reality or had it simply been a hormonal reaction? He didn't believe his perception of her basic character had been that flawed, and he was fairly certain it hadn't just been a physical attraction. He had been drawn to Anij because of her intelligence, strength of character and loving nature as well as by her quiet loveliness. He had also been very intrigued by the things she had taught him about patience and savoring the moment.
The fact that she was also excessively BORING had not been something he had even thought possible. It was almost more than he could bear after a while. Well, quite honestly, it WAS more than he could bear which was why he was now in his ready room instead of her cottage on Ba'ku. GOD, it was awful! No matter what he suggested, no matter what he wanted to do, if she was engrossed in some other endeavor he was basically ignored until she had finished, which tested his composure mightily because it could take her DAYS to finish. It didn't matter if she was reading, working at her craft, planting, whatever. Her 'patience' became maddening and he had tried EVERYTHING to catch her attention, but if she was 'savoring the moment' and he chose not to be involved in that moment, he was not acknowledged. Once he thought about it he realized Anij was over 300 years old and had made patience a fine art, a BORING art, but she certainly had every nuance down to perfection. PERFECTLY boring. He would gladly have committed an act against the Prime Directive two days ago to just have an argument with Beverly! Savoring the moment, indeed!
He hated himself for thinking such unattractive thoughts about Anij. She really was a wonderful woman, but he couldn't possibly spend any more time with her without losing his mind. He also despised admitting that he hadn't the wherewithal to handle the boredom. Hadn't he told Wesley Crusher that 'an intelligent person was NEVER bored?' Well, he had found his own limit and was thoroughly embarrassed now. His excuse for leaving had sounded weak even to himself and he knew Anij wasn't fooled by it. He realized he was hiding in his ready room to avoid any questions from his friends and senior staff as to why he was back so very early. He hoped to be able to head them off with a good excuse for coming back so soon, but hadn't thought of anything plausible yet.
And then there was the problem of Doctor Beverly Crusher, his very best friend. She wouldn't accept anything less than the truth but he wasn't about to tell her what he was really feeling. He had sensed a distance between them before he left and wasn't sure what the cause had been, but he had his own theories. Jean Luc wasn't secure enough with those theories, however, to act upon them. He needed to come up with something brilliant for Beverly or she would see right through him. Hell, she would probably see through him anyway, but if it was creative enough the doctor might let it pass. He would simply have to stay here until he could devise a plan that might work.
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The next morning Beverly Crusher stood outside the captain's cabin trying to decide if she was doing the right thing. She really wanted to see him, but didn't know how he would react. The curiosity, however, was killing her. She HAD to find out why he aborted his leave two weeks early.
Finally pushing the chime, the doctor waited for her captain's permission to enter. When there was no response after a few moments she rang again. Dr. Crusher had asked the computer his location before coming here so she knew he was still inside.
After a few more seconds the door whooshed open and there he stood with a very surprised look on his face.
"Beverly!"
"Hello Jean Luc, welcome back." She waited for his invitation to enter, but he just stood there with his mouth slightly open, not moving.
"May I come in?"
"Oh, yes, of course. Sorry, please, yes, do come in." He could hear how flustered he sounded and took a deep breath to calm himself. Jean Luc wasn't remotely ready to see her yet. What the hell was he supposed to do now?
"Please, sit down. Would you like something to drink?" Maybe he should offer her breakfast. "Perhaps something to eat? Have you had breakfast yet?"
"No, thank you for the offer, but I'm not really hungry right now. Tea would be nice, though."
"Fine," he answered. Maybe he could think of something while getting the tea.
"I was surprised to hear you came back so soon. Was there some emergency?" Knowing the real answer, she waited to see what he might say. Dr. Crusher was quite curious to hear what reason the captain had for appearing aboard his ship long before he was scheduled to return. Beverly realized he didn't actually OWE her an explanation for coming back, but she was hoping he wouldn't point out that little fact.
"Well, no, actually, I just decided to come back a bit early." 'Please, Beverly, just let it go at that,' he begged in his thoughts, knowing perfectly well it was a futile wish. He could, of course, tell his guest it was none of her damned business but knew that reply would only bring on the Howard temper in a flash.
"Why?"
Jean Luc Picard cringed. There were few things in the known galaxy that could make this man shudder, but the red-head sitting before him was one of those things. He knew it was hopeless now. She wasn't going to let him get away with anything less than a full disclosure and he knew it. He didn't like it, but he knew there was really no way around it now without completely alienating her.
Sitting across from Beverly, the coffee table between them, he glanced once at her and put his head in his hands. He sighed deeply. 'Okay, just get through it and then see what happens.'
Dr. Crusher was a bit surprised at his reaction to her innocent-seeming question. This might be even more interesting than she had imagined. Why was Jean Luc so obviously distraught? She knew he probably wouldn't want to tell her the real reason, but she hadn't expected THIS. The smirk played across her lips for a few seconds before the doctor controlled her mirth.
"Beverly," he finally lifted his head and began what he believed would be one of the most embarrassing explanations he had ever made. His only hope was that she would understand and not give him any grief about it later. It was an unrealistic hope, but he was keeping it alive.
As his friend did not speak, the captain continued trying to get it over with as quickly as possible. "I just couldn't stand it any longer. It was so BORING! I know that isn't a....a very.....polite thing to say, but it is true." He looked into her eyes now and saw a minimal amount of amusement and a great amount of concern. His hope flared at this sight and he resumed his explanation.
"I...," he hesitated not as sure as he was a moment ago. Jean Luc had to tread carefully if he was to elicit the response from Beverly Crusher that he would like. "I have thought about this for a long time, and I have come to the conclusion that I....," he paused unable to continue for a moment, his brain taking a sudden, unplanned excursion to the Delta Quadrant.
"What is it, Jean Luc?" She was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the way this conversation was going. The overwhelming joy at his admission quickly being subdued by this new confession.
"Beverly," he rose from his seat and moved to take one next to her on the sofa. "I couldn't bring myself to stay on Ba'ku any longer. Anij is a lovely person, but she made me realize how very much I missed my life, my friends......you."
"Oh?" The doctor tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "When did you make this discovery, Jean Luc?" She was whispering, unable to make her voice any louder.
"When I decided to return from my leave early, it wasn't simply because I was bored beyond belief, embarrassing as that is for me to admit. I missed the excitement of being on the ship, I missed my friends, my crew, the unexpectedness of life aboard a starship. But most of all I missed you; your companionship, your smile, your warmth, even your temper and the arguments I wasn't having with you." He smiled at this hoping she would as well.
Beverly was now thoroughly confused and got up to alleviate her feeling of restlessness that arrived at the precise moment Jean Luc had said he missed HER. Her brain was screaming at her to leave, now. Her heart, however, was telling her to take this slowly and find out if he was saying what she thought he might be saying. With such opposing forces vying for her attention she was paralyzed.
"I....you....," she stammered not having a clear enough idea of how she wanted to approach this. "Jean Luc," she turned to look at him and saw the sincere, expectant, and, could she possibly hope, *loving* gaze he returned to her. "Are you.....what exactly are you trying to say?" Hell, he'd been painfully honest with her about why he had returned, the least she could do was afford him the same courtesy, within reason that is.
"Quite honestly, Beverly, I am not absolutely sure what it is I'm trying to tell you."
"Oh." Now what? What was she supposed to do with that?
"Please sit down. I feel like you're hovering over me, ready to strike. Please, I won't do anything you don't wish me to do, sit down." He patted the sofa next to him as he spoke the gentle words.
She sat, but wouldn't look at him. "What if I wanted you to do something," she murmured, not meaning to speak the words aloud. Her head snapped up at the unexpectedly vocal question. The blush ran from her toes to her scalp but she clamped her mouth shut, afraid of making this worse than she already had.
Jean Luc was fairly blown over by that remark and wasn't positive he had heard her correctly, but he was going to run with it anyway. He might not ever get this kind of chance again.
"I suppose.....," he began slowly, thinking of an appropriate answer to her query. "I suppose I would have to oblige you." He smiled thinking it was a clever answer and hoping like hell she thought so as well. He looked up to see what her reaction might be to his implied acquiescence. She had returned to looking at her hands, but he could see a bit of her face and it had turned even redder than before as he felt his own face do the same. He was blushing! Good God, this woman could bring out the most carefully guarded emotions in him. What the hell was he thinking?
Beverly heard his soft reply to her question and was pleasantly startled. She cleared her throat and slowly raised her head and faced him.
"Well," she began, seeing his hopeful look and slightly pink complexion and decided to forge ahead. "Would you be obliging enough to, say, kiss me?" God, she hated being a fair-skinned Celtic descendent! She knew her face was now as bright red as her hair and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. The doctor also felt like a teenager in her grandmother's house waiting for that first kiss. It was ridiculous. She would simply have to trust this man, her best friend, the man she had loved for quite a long time and pray that he would respond as she wished.
"I suppose I could, perhaps, be persuaded to do that for you, if you are sure it's what you want." He was enjoying this now, but didn't want to make the doctor panic or upset her. He still had to be careful. Beverly wasn't technically asking him to kiss her YET. He could end up with a sore cheek and alone if he didn't play this to perfection. The captain was just astonished that she hadn't rocketed out of his cabin yet.
"Not if you were doing it simply because I had asked you." Dr. Crusher almost rolled her eyes at the absurdity of this whole situation.
Well, that was plain enough. He could answer that easily. Jean Luc looked straight into her beautifully anxious blue eyes and spoke gently, but firmly, not wanting her to misunderstand any of what he was about to say.
"Beverly, I have wanted very much to oblige that request for a long, long time. I do, however, want you to know that I would certainly not be doing this simply because you asked. I also want you to know that I am not just looking for a bit of excitement. I have loved you since the day we met and that will never change."
Her eyebrow lifted a fraction of an inch and she couldn't resist asking the question. "Then how do you explain Anij?"
'Damn, I knew she was going to get around to that at some point.' He let his head drop for a moment. She deserved an explanation, especially after what he just said. It was his own fault and he knew it might come to this. The captain bravely raised his head, locked his hazel eyes with her bright blue and answered.
"Anij was an attempt, ANOTHER attempt, to find some peace within myself. If I could not be with you, I would have to settle for the next best thing. Unfortunately the 'next best thing' is never actually good enough. They all pale in comparison. There is always something missing that I can only get from you, when I am with you. If that means I will have to accept being content with only your friendship then I am willing to do that. I haven't been in the past. I do not enjoy being celibate, but this is not just about sex, Beverly, it is about my needing to share my life with you, always. It is about my loving you with every fiber of my being. It is about wanting you to love me as unconditionally as I love you. It is about my wanting to share everything, with YOU. I cannot explain it any better than that. I can only hope that you understand and that some day you will be willing to allow our feelings for each other to escape the rigid boundaries we have set for them. If not, I will understand."
His speech made, he waited patiently for her response to his declaration, unable to keep the anticipation of a positive answer from flaring inside himself.
Beverly was not able to speak. She had never dreamed of such a thing happening. She had come here with the sole intention of having it out with him, finally. Dr. Crusher had needed to make a decision. Should she stay and be tormented by the continuing stream of women who flitted in and out of Jean Luc Picard's life, never knowing if one of them would be permanent? Should she leave the Enterprise and return to Starfleet Medical? Should she just chuck the whole thing, move to Caldos and become a healer? Should she just tell him how she felt and see what happened? The last option had never been a serious consideration. It just wasn't something the doctor was likely to do, but here it was, staring her in the face with those gorgeous hazel eyes and asking her to make a decision.
She let her body respond for her instead. Beverly hadn't really noticed, but it was moving slowly closer to him. When she was within inches of his face her eyes flicked down to see those fabulous lips and she gasped slightly at the realization of what her body was doing without her mind's consent.
His actions made the final decision for her when his head moved minutely and their lips brushed together. The shock that delicate touch sent through both of them was all that needed to be said. Her arms snaked around his neck, his went around her waist and they made discovering each other's bodies their new mission.
Jean Luc was practically delirious with happiness. He had anticipated a reluctance on Beverly's part to give in to her feelings, as usual. He was, however, pleasantly surprised when she didn't answer him verbally, but simply inched closer in an agonizingly slow manner. It took every ounce of his will power not to grab her, throw her down on the couch and take her right there. He knew he had to proceed cautiously. Beverly was still skittish about this and he could see the indecision in her eyes even as her lips moved to his. He would give her time, take this slowly, allow her to set the pace and end it whenever she felt uncomfortable, even if it meant an hour long cold shower afterwards. Jean Luc Picard was a gentleman to the very core of his being and this was the one time in his life he allowed someone else to control every movement, every action. He would demand nothing from her, taking only what she was willing to give. He conveyed this to his companion in his touch, in his kiss, in every look. Beverly understood and thanked him, repeatedly, without words. His goal was to make her as happy as he possibly could; happy enough to never want to leave his cabin, his bed, his life.
He succeeded admirably and was rewarded with his heart's desire and many, many long sensuous nights with the woman he loved.
THE END