Summary:  Jean-Luc and Beverly meet for dinner the night before he must leave on a mission.

Timeline:  About a year after the events in the movie "Generations."

Author's Note:  This story was inspired by the song, "Hands To Heaven" by Breathe.  It is on their album, "All That Jazz", which was released in 1987.  The song reminded me of songs performed by George Michael.  The // marks denote lyrics from the song.  Comments and feedback are welcomed.  Special thanks to Nan, Gegge, Yvonne, and Angela for their input and beta reading.

Disclaimer: Paramount, the great and powerful, owns all of Star
Trek. I merely claim this story.

Hands To Heaven

Captain's Log:  Stardate XXXX.  We are en route to rendezvous with the USS Yorktown where I will meet with Admiral Nechayev for a final briefing before disembarking on a mission for Starfleet Intelligence.  In my absence, Commander Riker will take temporary command of the Enterprise.  Because of the nature of the mission, I am prohibited from discussing the details with anyone except the Admiral.

Picard turned off the log and sat back in his chair.  The mission ahead troubled him.  He did not like keeping his officers in the dark, but was under orders to be silent.  It could be a dangerous mission.  That, in itself, did not trouble him though.  He had known for most of his life the chances that came with wearing a Starfleet uniform.

What bothered him was that he could be away from his crew for months, depending on how the mission progressed.  He had grown accustomed to his crew and he would miss them.  They were his family and he cared for them all deeply, but some more than others.  A lot could happen while he would be away, he realized.  Crew could be transferred or leave Starfleet and he possibly wouldn't know about it for months.  Relationships could also change.  People could grow further apart.

He was also troubled by things he felt were unfinished in his life, things left unsaid to those who he cared for.  Too much in his life was unfinished.

As was the custom in Starfleet when facing a potentially dangerous mission, during the past few days he had left several messages to those he cared for, messages only to be read if he did not return.  One of the hardest so far had been to Riker.  He wanted the young officer to know what an honor it had been serving with him and that he would make a fine captain.  He also wanted Riker to know how much their friendship had meant to him.

He left similar messages for Troi, LaForge, Data, Worf, and Wesley Crusher.  Though he didn't know if Wesley would ever receive the message, Picard needed to tell the young man how proud he was of him.

Only one message remained to be completed and Picard dreaded this one most of all.  It was a message for his Chief Medical Officer.  He did not know where to begin.  Their friendship had spanned almost 30 years.  Yet, it had always been more than mere friendship to him.  He was in love with her.  There were so many things he wanted to tell her, things that she didn't even learn on Kes-Prytt.  But, how could he express his feeling in a message?

He was at a loss.  How could he tell her how much she meant to him, knowing that she would only hear the recording if he had died?  It all seemed so cruel.  Yet, at the very least, he needed to tell her goodbye.

Picard turned on the recorder for a third time and again shut it off.  He couldn't find the words to begin.  Everything he thought of to say seemed so impersonal.  He couldn't bare the thought of Beverly listening to his goodbye in such a cold way.  He needed to see her before he left.  He needed to tell her in person how much he treasured their friendship, how much he had depended on her compassion and wisdom in their years serving aboard the Enterprise together.  He needed to tell her how much he loved her.

So much had been left unsaid because of fear, fear of allowing someone to become that close to him and fear of pushing her away.  Now those fears all seem so unimportant.  His fears had gained him nothing.  What if Beverly was reassigned again while he was gone?  She could, very easily, leave Starfleet all together.  Would she be willing to wait for him if he confessed his love to her?

Picard set his jaw.  This is ridiculous, he told himself.  He could no longer afford to let his fears control his actions.  He didn't have the time.  This could be his last chance.  Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he tapped his communicator.

"Computer, location of Dr. Crusher."

"Doctor Crusher is in her office."

"Is she alone, Computer?"

"There are no other life forms present at this time," the computer replied.  He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Picard to Crusher."

"Go ahead Captain."

The sound of her voice put a smile on his previously serious face and his tone softened.

"Beverly, do you have plans for dinner this evening?"

It was Crusher's turn to smile.  "Is that an invitation Captain?"

"It most certainly is," he replied with a grin.

"In that case, I'd love to have dinner with you."

Picard's smile broadened.  "Holodeck 3, 19:00 hours."

"A holodeck?  Sounds intriguing.  I'll be there."

"Good.  And by the way, Doctor, dress casually.  Picard out."

He closed the channel before she could inquire further.

Beverly sat back in the chair at her desk and smiled.  What in the world was he up to, she asked herself.  A holodeck dinner was not usually Jean-Luc's style.  This could be very interesting.  Oh God, I hope he doesn't plan on trying to teach me horseback riding again.  Beverly laughed at the memory.  His last attempt had been a disaster.  Not only did the horse seem to detest Beverly being on his back, but she also didn't much care for being that high off the ground for any length of time.  I hope this adventure will be a little more pleasant, she thought.

Beverly struggled to keep her mind on her work the rest of the afternoon.  Luckily, things were slow in sickbay, so the only things that suffered from her distraction were the unfinished reports on her desk.  Her curiosity was getting the better of her.  What did Jean-Luc have planned for their evening, she repeatedly asked herself.  When she returned to her quarters after her shift, she tried to think of an excuse to find out more from the Captain.  He had told her to dress casually.  Perhaps she could ask him to elaborate a little.  After all, she thought, casual could mean almost anything.

"Computer, location of Captain Picard."

"Captain Picard is in his ready room."

"Is he alone Computer?"

"Captain Picard is the only life form in the ready room."

"Good.  Crusher to Picard."

"Go ahead Doctor."

"I was just wondering, Jean-Luc.  You said to dress casually this evening.  That's a little vague.  You wouldn't care to elaborate a little, would you?"

Picard grinned.  He had wondered how long it would take for Beverly to ask for more details about their evening.

"Are you asking me to pick out what you should wear, Doctor?"

"Oh, no,"  Beverly replied laughing.  "I wouldn't quite go that far, but a hint would be helpful since you haven't told me which program you're running."

"But that would spoil the surprise."  He paused for a moment, contemplating how much he should tell her.  "Let me just say that a simple dress would suffice.  Picard out."

He'd done it again, closing the channel abruptly before she could get any more clues.  "Oh, that man," Beverly said aloud.  She wasn't angry, just a little disgruntled that he had ended the conversation without telling her anything more about the program.  She wouldn't dare call him back.  Then he would know that her curiosity was winning out.

It was an interesting game that they played, not quite flirting, but pretty damned close.

She sat back on the bed in her quarters.  A simple dress, she thought.  That eliminates any type of strenuous activity, no horses or cliffs to deal with.  Simple also meant it wouldn't be a formal dinner club or a theater.  I'll bet he's got some quaint French cafe in mind, she mused.  The scene she pictured in her mind was quite romantic.  Soft music, dancing, a quiet dinner for two.  The thought appealed to her.  They had been friends for a long time, more than friends really, but not quite something else.  He had wanted more than friendship, but she had been afraid of furthering their relationship.

At that moment, sitting on her bed, Beverly wasn't sure anymore why she had been afraid.  She knew that there had to be good reasons, but at that moment, none of them came to mind.  She was too lost in her daydream.  She knew that she loved Jean-Luc and that he loved her.  It would be so easy to be swept away by him.  It would be so wonderful.

Perhaps, she thought, tonight would be the night that they would both put their fears behind them.  She had let fear control her for too long and where had it gotten her?  Alone in her quarters.  No more, she promised herself.  No more hiding.

Beverly took a deep breath.  She was surprised by the feelings that swept over her after her revelation.  She wasn't anxious or nervous.  All she felt was relief.  She would indeed enjoy her evening with Jean-Luc, she thought, and so would he.  It would be the first of many nights to come.  Tomorrow, they would wake in each other's arms and enjoy their first true day together.  Maybe, Jean-Luc would even find a way for them to have the day off together, she thought.

"Oh damn," she said aloud, realizing what day tomorrow would be.  He would be leaving in the morning on some assignment for Nechayev.  Even when she doesn't know it, that woman can really muck things up, she thought.  She let out a long sigh.  Beverly didn't even know how long Jean-Luc would be gone.  He had never told her any of the details, just saying he would be gone until the mission was completed and that Will would be in command until then.

Beverly's relief and joy were replaced by sadness.  She would have missed him terribly even before her revelation.  Now his absence would be almost unbearable.

Picard sat in his ready room going over the details of his holodeck program.  His shift had ended a few minutes before.

He had set up the initial program over a year ago, after the deaths of his brother and nephew.  Since then, he had visited the program a few times, but always alone.  Now, he looked forward to sharing it with Beverly.  It was one of the things he wanted her to know about him.

With all the final details completed, he transferred the matrix to Holodeck 3 and activated the program, making sure it would only allow Beverly or himself to enter.  His work finished, he went to his quarters to dress.

He chose a simple shirt and gray trousers.  Beverly had commented before that she thought the outfit suited him.  Before leaving his quarters, he grabbed a bottle of the Picard 47.  The last time he had seen his brother, Robert had given it to him and told him not to drink it alone.  He could think of no better use for the wine than his dinner with Beverly tonight.

Beverly chose to follow Jean-Luc's recommendation on her attire.  She wore a blue cotton dress supported by thin straps over her shoulders.  The front was laced with small buttons and the hem reached mid calf.  She complimented the dress with a pair of low heel sandals.  The feel of the soft material against her skin helped to comfort her nerves.  There would be no turning back after tonight, she thought, and she didn't really want to turn back.

After taking a last look in the mirror, she headed for the holodeck.  She would be a little early, but it was better than waiting alone in her quarters.  Her apprehension was growing and she didn't want to give herself time to change her mind.

When she approached the holodeck, she realized that the program was already running.  After taking a calming breath, she entered slowly, expecting to find Jean-Luc already there.  When she didn't see him, she began to take in the beauty of the scene before her.

She was standing in the courtyard of an elaborate three-story house.  Vines grew up the walls of the house in several areas.  A full moon shone above and soft music could be heard coming from somewhere inside the dwelling.  She didn't recognize the setting, but was sure it was somewhere on Earth.

Beverly knocked on the door of the house, but there was no answer.  Apparently, he was not there yet, she thought.  She took advantage of her time by surveying the many flowers that surrounded the courtyard.  It was all very peaceful and lovely.  While touching the petals of a particularly beautiful rose, she heard the holodeck doors open behind her.  She turned to him quickly and smiled brightly.  He returned the smile as he slowly approached her.

"This is lovely, Jean Luc.  Where are we?" she asked softly.

Picard's smile broadened as he extended his hands toward his surroundings.

"I'm glad you like it.  This is my home, in France."

"Jean-Luc, it's beautiful.  I had no idea," she replied, once again surveying the grounds.  "Do you come here often?"

Picard shrugged his shoulders as he followed her gaze around the courtyard.

"No, not really.  I guess I just wanted you to see it before I left tomorrow."

Beverly turned away from him suddenly, not wanting him to see the anguish in her eyes.

"I'd almost forgotten until a little while ago that you'd be leaving in the morning," she said softly.  "I'll miss you terribly, you know."

Picard walked up behind her slowly and placed his hands on her shoulders.  He realized that she was trembling.

"Hey, Beverly, this isn't like you.  What's wrong?" he said softly.  When she didn't respond, he tried to lighten the mood a little.  "Afraid no one else will put up with your eating habits at breakfast while I'm gone?"

She chuckled uneasily a little as she turned back toward him.  "MY eating habits? You're the one who always wants the same thing every morning."

He laughed softly at her comeback before his grin turned into a slight smile.  "It's not the menu that's important.  It's who you choose to share it with."

She smiled uneasily back at him and then turned again to face the flowers.

"This garden is amazing," she said, trying to ease the tension.  "Who takes care of it for you?  I mean, the real one, back on Earth?"

Picard admonished himself for his earlier slip.  He didn't want to push Beverly away by revealing his feelings too quickly.

"Well, Marie usually takes care of the flowers, and she manages the vineyard."  He paused for a moment and looked around his home again before continuing.  "But she'll be leaving in a few months.  I guess I'll have to hire someone."  He paused again and forced a smile to break his melancholy.  He extended his hand to her.  "I think I promised you dinner.  And you haven't seen inside the house yet.  Come on, I'll show you around."

She returned the smile and took his hand as he led her into the house.

Beverly marveled at the elegantly decorated home.  It was like traveling back in time.  The house was furnished throughout with beautifully preserved antique furniture, but yet it looked comfortable.  He led her from room to room, pointing out various objects and telling her of their histories.  When they entered the library, Beverly was amazed at the number of books that lined the shelves.

"Now, I know why you still read real books on the Enterprise.  You'd never seen anything else,"  she said laughing.

Picard chuckled at her observation.  "Papa didn't like computers very much.  He always said you had to hold a book in your hand to truly enjoy it.  And we didn't have replicators.  Maman cooked every meal."

"He sounds a lot like Nana," she laughed.  "I guess the old ways weren't so bad, but at least Nana installed a replicator when we got to Caldos."  She paused a moment and looked at him questioningly.  "Jean-Luc, you don't plan on really cooking tonight, do you?  I mean, the holodeck is doing the actual work, right?"

He feigned shock at her question.  "I'll have you know that I'm a very good cook.  Maman insisted that both Robert and I learn."  Beverly was giggling at his protest and he couldn't help but join in.  "You don't believe me.  One day, I'll show you, but rest assured, you're safe tonight.  I've programmed a meal that you won't soon forget."

"Really?  Well, my good man, lead on.  I'm starving."

Picard bowed elaborately.  "Your wish is my command.  This way, my lady."

He led her from the library to the dining room.  Two single candles burned in the center of the table, casting a soft glow on the room.  The moonlight shining from the floor length windows was the only other light in the room.  It was then that Beverly noticed that the music she had heard earlier was coming from this room.  It was playing softly in the background.

Picard pulled out a chair from the table for Beverly and she sat down.  She could feel his breath on her back and neck as he scooted the chair under her toward the table.

"Thank you," she said gently.

"My pleasure," he replied, clearing his throat.  "I'll be back in a moment," Picard said as he walked through the doorway to the kitchen.

When he returned, he carried two steaming plates and had a bottle of wine tucked under his arm.

"Smells wonderful.  What is it?"

"Actually, it's something I found in the replicator from Betazed," he replied as he laid her plate in front of her.  "It's a pasta dish seasoned with their local herbs.  Will recommended it.  He said I wouldn't be disappointed.  I guess we'll just have to wait and see if he's right."

After placing his own plate down, Picard took the bottle of wine from under his arm and grinned.

"But the wine, I can vouch for.  It came from the vineyards.  Or at least, it came from the real ones," he said as he poured both of them a glass.

"And how, may I ask, did you get a bottle of real wine on the holodeck without my noticing it?"

"My dear Doctor, you don't expect me to give up all of my secrets, do you?"

They both laughed at his reply.  Dinner progressed at a leisurely pace, neither wanting to rush their time together.  They discussed ship's business, the latest gossip, anything to avoid talking about his trip tomorrow.

"Jean-Luc, that was lovely,"  Beverly stated, taking her napkin and placing it on the table.

Picard smiled at her.  "I'm glad you enjoyed it.  I wanted out last night together to be special." He paused for a moment and looked directly into her eyes before continuing softly.  "But it's not over yet.  We haven't had dessert."

"Oh really?"  Beverly smiled mischievously at him and took a sip of her wine.  "What did you have in mind?"

Picard stared at her for a moment, a slight grin on his face.  He knew when he was being challenged.

"You'd be surprised by what I can come up with when I have the right motivation," he replied coyly.  He enjoyed their little game, but didn't want to push her.  When her eyebrows shot up at his reply, he chucked lightly and rose from the table.  "I'll be right back," he stated as he headed again into the kitchen.

After he had left the room, Beverly also rose from the table and let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.  Her heart was beating so fast that she was almost sure he could see it pounding on her breasts.  She would have to find a way to calm herself down.

She walked around the table to one of the floor length windows.  The view from that room was breathtaking.  The hills in the distance encompassed the massive vineyard in the valleys below.  She stood there for several moments swaying to the music as she gazed out the window.  She did not hear Jean-Luc re-enter the room.  He stood silently in the doorway.

// As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving //

His heart was pounding.  She looked so lovely dancing in the moonlight.  He could hardly bare the thought of leaving her in the morning.  If he didn't take her in his arms soon, his heart was going to burst.

// Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving //

Quietly, he laid the dessert plates on the table's soft place mats and walked up slowly behind her, pausing for a moment only a few feet away.

Beverly trembled slightly as she saw his reflection in the glass.  She returned his gaze in the reflection, but did not turn around.  She did not want him to stop.

He stood there for a moment longer then continued to walk quietly toward her, all the time holding her gaze.  When he finally reached her, he placed his hands gently on her shoulders.  When she didn't pull away, he traced one hand down her arm to her wrist and slowly back up again.  Beverly sighed deeply at the contact and leaned back into him. Her heart was pounding rapidly as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her even tighter against him.  Her silent reply was to encircled his arms with her own.

They stood there for a moment before either of them spoke.  Beverly was the first to break the silence.

"Jean-Luc, why did you really ask me here tonight?"

Picard was taken off guard by the bluntness of her question.  His body stiffened as he released his hold on her slightly, but he did not removed his arms from her waist.  Mentally, he struggled with his answer.  He wanted to tell Beverly the truth, but was afraid that she would push him away again.

She felt his uneasiness and tightened her hold on his arms to reassure him.

"I wanted to see you again before I left.  I needed to tell you how important you are to me."  He took a deep breath before continuing softly.  "Are you sorry that you came?"

"No, I needed to be here," she replied gently.  "I want to be with you tonight."

"Beverly," he said, his voice thick with emotion.  She had opened the door and he was ready to walk through it.  "There are so many things I need you to understand."

She turned in his arms, her eyes gleaming with tears, and he continued.

"I don't want to leave tomorrow without telling you how I feel."

She looked deeply into his eyes, a slight smile on her face, and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Tell me, Jean Luc," she breathed.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately, hungrily, as if only she could quench the insatiable thirst within him.  She returned the kiss, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and neck, her very life depending on being closer to him.

When they finally broke apart, he gazed into her eyes, searching for her understanding of how much he loved her.  He saw what he searched for in her deep blue pools, yet it wasn't enough.  He needed to say the words, and she needed to hear them.

"I love you, Beverly.  I always have.  I want you to remember that no matter how long I'm gone."

"Oh, Jean-Luc," she replied softly.  "I love you too."  Beverly snuggled in closer to him, pulling him tight against her and resting her head against his shoulder.  "I'm going to miss you so much.  It seems we never get a break, do we?"

Picard held her close and stroked her back gently as she began to sob slightly.  He couldn't stand to see the woman he loved in such pain.

"Hey, Beverly.  It'll be all right." He placed his hand under her chin and raised it gently so he could look into her eyes.  He needed to reassure her.  "I'll be back as soon as I can.  It won't be so bad and when I get back we can pick up where we left off."

She gazed at him through her tears.  "But, it's so unfair.  We only now tell each other how we really feel and you're leaving.  We've had so little time together."

Picard closed his eyes as he held her.  He did not want their evening to end with sadness.

"Then don't let it end here, Beverly.  Stay with me tonight," he pleaded hoarsely.  "Let me make love to you as I've always dreamed that I would.  Don't leave me tonight."

She kissed him tenderly on the lips, her hand gently grazing the back of his neck.
 
"I'm not going anywhere," she replied, gazing back into his hazel eyes.  "Make love to me, Jean Luc."

He closed his eyes again for a moment.  He had waited half his lifetime to hear her words.  How was he ever gong to bare leaving her tomorrow?

// So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday //

When he opened his eyes, the longing he saw in hers was unmistakable.  Without hesitation, he gently scooped her up in his arms and carried her up the staircase.

He kissed her sweetly on the lips before laying her body on the old poster bed of the master bedroom.  Sitting on the bed beside her, he gazed in awe for a moment at the woman that he loved so passionately.  As she reached up to brushed his cheek with her fingers, he took her hand in his and kissed her palm.  Supporting himself by placing his other hand on the bed beside her waist, he leaned over her and began placing gentle kisses on her neck.  He traced the kisses slowly down her bare shoulder as his hand found its way from her waist to her breasts.

Beverly gasped as he palmed one breast and then the other through the cotton fabric of her dress.  His kisses on her neck and shoulders were driving her to madness.  Reaching behind him, she gently tugged the shirt from his trousers and raked her fingertips up his spine.  This evoked a slight shiver from him and he raised up from her to allow her to pull the shirt over his head.

He repositioned himself on the bed so that he was laying next to her on his side, balancing himself on one arm as he gazed down at her face.  His other hand again traced down her long neck to the buttons of her dress, unfastening them slowly, placing his lips on each new bit of revealed skin as his fingers continued their journey down her slim body.  Beverly's hands caressed the small hairs on his chest for a moment before straying down his stomach to unfasten the belt of his trousers.  Picard moaned as she pressed one hand against his hardness before slipping her fingers around his sides and under the waistband of his trousers and briefs.  He raised up slowly to allow her to tug the offending garments halfway down his hips before he pulled away from her and sat back on knees beside her.

Picard removed his own shoes and socks before pulling the sandals from her feet and tossing them on the floor.  Bending down to capture her lips again, he pulled her to a sitting position as his fingers found the straps of her dress and lowered them down her arms and away from her body.  He unfastened her bra and removed it before lowering her gently back to the bed, never breaking the searing kiss.  When he pulled away from her again and sat back on his knees, he placed his hands on either side of her waist and laced his thumbs under the band of her panties.  As she raised her hips slightly, he gently tugged them down her hips, past her thighs, caressing her legs with his fingers as he went until he pulled them away completely.  He then lowered himself on top of her, forcing her legs apart with his knee as he balanced his weight on his elbows on either side of her shoulders.  They gazed at each other for a moment as a small smile crept on Beverly's lips.  Her hands had eagerly returned to his hips to slide his trousers further down his legs and out of the way

He entered her with one smooth stroke as each gasped at the intensity of their joining.  After a moment to allow their bodies to adjust, he began to move slowly.  Beverly's fingers gripped his backside as she rose to meet his trusts.

Their lovemaking continued through the night, gentle, unhurried, each savoring the other's touch, each wanting the night to last forever, though both knew their time together would be over much too quickly.

// Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness //

Exhausted both physically and emotionally, they clung to each other, comforted by the thought that, finally, they had become one soul and nothing could ever truly separate them.  He held her close to him, her body half laying on top of his as she rested her head on his shoulder.  He gently caressed her back and shoulder until her breathing slowed and he realized that she was sleeping peacefully in his arms.

// Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness //

When the morning sun began to trace it's way across the bedroom floor, Picard knew that their time together was near an end.  He had not allowed himself to sleep during the night, not wanting to miss a moment of the feel of his love in his arms as she snuggled against his body.

Closing his eyes and sighing deeply before opening them again, he traced a finger down her cheek.  Her eyes fluttered open slowly.

"Hello," she said, raising herself up on one elbow and smiling brightly down at him.

"Good morning," he replied, returning her smile.

She sighed deeply and returned her head to its resting place on his shoulder.  As the sunlight reached the foot of the bed, she closed her eyes again, engulfed in the sweet memories of their love making and content to stay there in his arms forever.

Picard caressed her cheek again.

"Beverly," he said gently. "We have to get up."  When she didn't respond, he spoke again.  "Beverly, we don't have much time.  I have to be leaving soon and I want to have breakfast with you before I go."

Beverly's eyes opened again but the smile faded from her face.  She snuggled closer to him, but didn't look into his eyes.

"I don't want you to go," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

"I know," Picard replied as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.  "I don't want to go either, but I have to."

"How long will you be gone?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know exactly.  A few weeks, maybe longer."

When she didn't reply, he placed a finger under her chin and raised her face up slowly.  Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

// As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely //

He raised up gently, forcing her to slide her head off his shoulder and onto the pillow.  Resting on one elbow, he slowly lowered his lips onto hers and kissed her tenderly.  When the kiss ended, he gazed passionately down at her, a slight smile on his face.

"I love you, Beverly.  Nothing will ever change that.  I've waited too long to have you here in my arms to let a mere mission stand in my way.  I'll be back as soon as I can."  His smile brightened as he gazed down at her.  "Besides, I'm going to miss waking up to find you in my bed.  After all, it took me nearly thirty years to get you here."

Beverly smiled back at him through her tears.  "Then you'd better hurry back soon, Captain.  You never know when some handsome young lieutenant might show up and sweep me off my feet while you're gone."

Picard chuckled at her teasing.  "Well, I might just have to confine you to quarters then, Doctor, until I get back."

"Oh really, Captain.  And whose quarters might those be?" she grinned mischievously back at him.

"Mine, of course.  I think I'll ask Worf to come back for a while and guard over you.  That way I'll be sure you stay out of trouble," he said with a grin, kissing her quickly on the nose.

Her smile faded a little as she looked at him. She took his face in her hands before speaking softly.  "I'll make you a deal, my dear Captain."  She paused for a moment so that he would know she was serious.  "I promise to stay out of trouble if you'll promise to do the same."

The seriousness of her words did not escape him.  He leaned down and kissed her gently.  "I promise," he replied when the kiss broke.  He gazed at her for a moment longer before pulling her closer to him and kissing her again, this time with more passion.  Breakfast would have to wait.

// Morning has come, another day I must pack my bags and say goodbye, goodbye //

After returning to his quarters to gather what he would need for the mission, the couple walked hand in hand to the shuttlebay, not wanting to waste a moment together until Picard would have to leave.  Riker would handle the senior staff briefing this morning and inform the others of Picard's absence.

They held each other tightly, neither wanting to say goodbye, as if not speaking the words would somehow make them untrue.

// So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday //

Picard was the first to break the silence.

"Beverly, I don't know when I'll be able to speak to you again.  The Admiral said we would maintain radio silence until the mission is over."

"I know Jean-Luc."  She pulled back from his embrace and looked sadly in his eyes.  "Come back safe."  A tear streaked down her cheek as she kissed him tenderly.  "I'll be here when you get back."

He brushed his thumb across her cheek to remove the tear.  "I love you," he stated softly before removing his hand and turning to walk in the shuttle craft.

Beverly watched the shuttle until it cleared the bay and streaked out of sight before she slowly make her way to her quarters.

As the days passed without hearing from Jean-Luc, she reminded herself that he could not contact her until the mission was over.  Still, her heart raced every time she received a transmission from outside the ship, hoping that it would be a message from Jean-Luc.  Days had turned into weeks with still no word from him.

She longed for his touch, his gentle words.  After the first week, she could no longer stand to be in her quarters alone at night and began sleeping in his quarters or in the holodeck recreation of his home in France.  She imagined that she could still smell his scent on the sheets of their bed, though logically she knew it was impossible.  Sometimes she cried herself to sleep and awoke emotionally drained.  Other nights, her imagination was enough to comfort her and she was able to sleep peacefully, their night of passion filling her dreams.

// Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness //

When the shuttle doors opened, Picard walked out wearily and was greeted by Will Riker.  It was late into the ship's night and Picard was exhausted and filthy.  The mission had been a success, but not without a price.  An ensign from the Yorktown had lost her life and two others, including Picard, had been injured by phaser burns.  His physical wounds had been healed by the Yorktown doctors, but the emotional scars of the mission would take much longer to heal.  He had asked Riker not to wake anyone else on the senior staff, saying that he preferred to get cleaned up and rested before greeting his staff in the morning.  Riker understood his commanding officer's need to show strength to those under his command and did as he had requested.

Picard's need to see Beverly nearly overwhelmed him after he boarded the ship, though he convinced himself to at least get cleaned up and changed before seeking her out.  After he had done so, he asked the computer for her location.  A smile crossed his face when the computer told him of her whereabouts.

As he entered the holodeck, he was pleased to see his old program running.  He entered the house quietly and climbed the stairs to the master bedroom.  His heart was pounding as he slowly opened the door and saw her sleeping peacefully, the moonlight streaming through the windows onto their bed.

She seemed so lovely that he almost didn't want to wake her.  Almost.  He slowly walked over to the bed, kneeled down and laid his fingers gently on her cheek.  She smiled in her sleep and whispered his name.  His smiled broadened.  She was dreaming about him, he realized.  He caressed her cheek again and spoke her name softly.

"Oh, Jean-Luc," she whispered again.  As he continued to stroke her cheek, her eyes fluttered open suddenly, her still-foggy mind hoping that it wasn't part of her dream.  She sat up quickly upon realizing that it was real.  "Jean-Luc, you're here," she said as she pulled him toward her in a fierce embrace.  "You're really here."  Tears began to streak down her eyes as she clung to him and she began to sob.

// Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness
As we move to embrace, tears run down your face //

"Yes," he replied as he held her close.  "It's okay.  I'm here now.  Everything is going to be all right."

After a few moments, she pulled back to look at him, needing to convince herself again that it was all real.  Her sobbing had stopped.  She began to speak quickly.  "Oh, God, I missed you.  I felt you touch my cheek, but I thought it was part of the dream."

Picard smiled brightly at her.  "So, I could see."

At first, Beverly didn't understand his comment, but then realization hit her and she blushed deeply.

"I take it that it was a good dream?" he inquired, grinning widely.

She cocked her eyebrows and grinned back at him.  "Someone once told me that a person couldn't be held responsible for what their mind does when they're asleep."

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow at her use of his own words not so long ago.  Two could play at that game.

"What about when they're awake," he asked, gazing deeply into her eyes.

She gave no reply, but instead snaked her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately, pulling him on top of her as she laid back down on the bed.

He needed no encouragement.  His heart ached for her.  His body ached for her.

// I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely //

But their lives would never be lonely again.

THE END