BY: RAE THE EXHAUSTION-INDUCED (and therefore taking NO
RESPONSIBILITY
WHATSOEVER for this)
E-MAIL: <[email protected]>
CODES: STTNG, "it", P/Cish, 1/1
RATING: PG-13
ARCHIVE: Sure, anywhere anyone's putting the rest of the series. Just
keep my name attached.
FEEDBACK: Sure. Just remember that I claim sleep-deprivation as an
excuse.

Special smooches to my Bevsterquerida, who did actually suggest I write
one, and to TrexPhahl, who told me to write one *tonight*, and who also
beta'd on the fly.

It11: The Big Chair

You know, I don't ask for a lot out of life. Just a little respect,
that's all. I'm the Command Chair of the flagship of the Federation, for
the love of fabric! I serve faithfully, don't I? I'm comfortable. I
don't creak. I don't make embarrassing noises when someone sits on me,
not even the big hairy guy. I'm even cute. This tasteful faux-leather
look is attractive AND psychologically beneficial to crew morale.

I'm the *Captain's Chair*. I have *dignity*. Or had.

The captain... Well, I've always kind of liked him. He's the Captain. He
belongs on my cushions. And he's very respectful of my panels. And the
red-head... She's sat on me a few times, and while she *fidgeted* rather
more than I'd like, she was fine. Until now.

Some of the things they've been getting up to - well, it's awful, that's
what it is. And it's so hard to get the stains out sometimes. Protective
spray on my surface only does so much, but even *that* doesn't seem to
matter any more. It's shocking. I have *dents*.

And there they are again. Giggling like children on a tour, too. Please,
let them go to the console - I've still got a *stretch* in my beautiful
faux-leather from last time, but does anyone care any more? No. There's
no respect for the authority of the Big Chair any more.

Oh, no. They're coming to *me*. Please, not the sauce! What the hell are
they doing? Oh, that's just *disgusting*.

What? I think my base just warped! Stellar phenomena, battles by the
dozen, and I've stood beneath the onslaught unwavering. But I'm just not
designed for these kind of stresses.

Madame! Would you kindly not shriek so loudly? This is the Bridge, I'll
have you know. We have codes of decorum here.

Surely that can't even be comfortable for *you*? True, you're not the
one getting bounced on at this particular moment - frankly, I don't
think my headrest will ever be the same - but that just looks painful.
Though, granted, I do *not* have the best perspective.

Finally. They seem to have stopped. I'll say this for the captain, he's
got more stamina than I'd have expected. It's hard to get a real
perspective on someone who's just sitting on you all the time.

What? The ready room now? You can't leave me like this! Look at this
mark! Even that charming boy from Engineering won't be able to get
*that* one out. Come back here!