Author:  Alyssa Powell ([email protected])
Keywords:  weeeeell, since it's an "It," we'll call it P/C, but neither
of them actually come out in it....
 
 

THE BIRTH CONTROL IMPLANT
 

This is unbelievable, General.  You have no idea how strained we have
been down here lately.  We are in a dire strait.  The enemy is
regrouping and attacking almost faster than we can push them away, and
the weather simply isn't cooperating.  It's been positively soggy.  We
can't get proper signals across to our flanks.

I'd like to assure you, Sir, that we are doing the best we can.  We have
requested reinforcements, and expect them any day now...but without
them, we are finished.

(sir, they're about to launch another attack!)

Damn!  Be on your guard, Troops, here they come!!  Watch out!  Bogey at
5 o'clock!  Get out the anti-sperm cannons and shoot that son of a
bacteria down, but be on the lookout!  He's just the scout to a larger
attack!

(The enemy is bombarding us on the left flank!  They're breaking through
the defenses and headed to the power center!  There's white coats all
over the place!)

Somebody get that Kamikaze!  He'll push right through our defenses!
Fire at will!!!

(The right flank is gone!  Repeat, the right flank is defeated!)

They're coming at us again, Troops!  Get the foam!  We need foam!  Damn,
where's the sponge brigade?!  Call in the secret service
people.....yeah, those Sperm Assassin guys!  Get them out there, now!
We're losing ground!

(Sir, they've penetrated the power center!  Sir, we can't take any more
of this!)

I can't believe this....I've never lost before....

(We're rigged to explode!)

Kill them all!  Last ditch effort!

<bzzt!>

*****

"OW!"

"Beverly?"

"Damn, something caught.  That hurt."

"I'll make it aaaaaaaall better...."