IT5
BY: THE BEVSTER
CODES: STNG, P/Cish but indirectly, 1/1
RATING: PG
ARCHIVE:  Sure, if you like, but keep my name attached.
FEEDBACK:  [email protected]

Author's Note:  Okay, I can't seem to stop now.  This has become obsessive!
For my Bubbie who gave me the idea for the wigs. :*

Summary:  More POVs from the others in P & C's lives.

THE WIGS (Betty, Ethel, Mildred and Clara)

"Betty!  Betty!!!  <sigh>  Ethel, nudge Betty, she's snoring again!" Clara
said, obviously annoyed.

"Nudge her?  And how exactly do you expect me to do THAT??"  <sigh>  "She's
always snoring!  BETTY!!!!  WAKE UP!!!!!"  Ethel yelled as loudly as she
could, but it still did nothing to wake the snoring wig.

"Mabel, maybe if you and I yell at the same time..." Ethel said to her
companion on the other side of Betty.

"BEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!"  They both yelled and it seemed to have
the desired effect.

"Huh?  Wha?  Is she back?"  Betty replied as she woke, incoherent as usual.

"No, Betty, she isn't back, you were snoring again."  Clara answered.

"Well, I'm sooooooo sorry, Clara!  It's not my fault I have a head with bad
nasal passages!"

"Well, at least YOUR head has a nose!"  Clara shot back.

"Oh be quiet both of you!"  Ethel had heard this so many times before she
didn't want to get into it again.

"When IS she coming back.  Not that it would do us much good.  Since her
hair grew back, she hasn't given us the time of day."  Ethel was quite
miffed that Dr. Crusher hadn't seen fit to wear ANY of them since her scalp
and hair follicles had recovered from some horrible lab experiment accident
she'd suffered over ten years ago.

"Oh, right, as if she wore YOU for more than one year! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
Clara knew she had been the doctor's favorite wig and she lorded it over
the others frequently.

"Shut up, Clara!"  Betty, Ethel and Mabel said in unison.

"Well, SHE may have liked you best, but HE picked ME to put on that night!"
Mabel was still reeling from the evening when the captain had come home
with their mistress and at one point took her off her wigstand and put her
on his head.  Mabel was shocked out of her sleep to say the least but once
she figured out what was happening, she thoroughly enjoyed herself.  His
head felt little different from the doctor's (at least before any of her
hair grew back) and she still fluffed herself every time she recalled how
he had chosen HER out of all four wigs.

"Oh, he was just messing around.  Playing a game with her.  It's not like
he's ever been here since!"  Clara was tired of hearing about this episode.
It was all ANYONE talked about these days, or had talked about since it
happened.

"You'd give your netting to have been off that stand for as long as I was,
Miss THING!"  Mabel knew that Clara was jealous of the experience and she
never wasted a chance to say so.

"When IS she coming BACK???  It's just not LIKE her to never be here
anymore.  The only time we see her is when she runs in, changes clothes,
then runs back out."  Betty was totally perplexed by such odd behavior in
their mistress and the fact that HE had been in her bedroom NAKED, well,
that was still a major topic of discussion as well.  Plus she was
thoroughly tired of listening to Clara and Mabel bicker.  Who CARED!?

"I don't know, I just wish she would.  I'm so bored." Ethel said and
sighed.

"We're all bored, Ethel, but even if she WERE here it's not like she'd wear
any of US."  Betty realized it wasn't likely their mistress would ever don
any of them again, but it was nice to have her presence in the room, to
hear her breathing at night, to watch her read, and dream of the days when
she used to pick special ribbons for them, when she used to take extra
special care to prepare them for the next day, when she'd brush them, wash
them, style them, fluff them.  Betty sighed heavily.  What she wouldn't
give for a new ribbon!

"I know, Betty.  I just.....I don't know, I miss her."  Ethel replied and
sighed as well.

"Maybe..." Clara said and paused a moment before continuing, "maybe, she'll
come back and bring him with her.  You know, they seemed to have quite a
good time and well, I was thinking.....if one of us could get to the
replicator, we might......"

"What???" the other three said in unison.

"Well, I think we might be able to get it to make up the same kind of
chemical that made her real hair <Clara said these two words with a very
snide tone> fall out again.  Then she'd love us again!"

"What makes you think the replicator would help US?  And beyond that, how
are we supposed to talk to something that's in the living room???"  Betty
was incredulous that Clara would not only consider it possible but would
consider it at all.  Even though she wasn't their mistresses favorite,
Betty loved the doctor and had no desire to see her harmed.  She knew Clara
resented the REAL HAIR, but Betty thought the doctor's real hair was lovely
and wouldn't want to be involved in causing it to be lost.

"Well," Clara replied, "I've heard the bed sighing and going on about how
she thought perhaps HE was a bit too rough with her that night.  Personally
I don't agree.  That bed is an old maiden aunt prissy pants anyway, but
that's not the point.  The point is, the bed could ask the chair and the
next time the chair is in the living room, IT could ask the replicator.
But, since the bed is so damn stuffy, we'd have to ask in such a way that
she wouldn't KNOW what we really wanted!"

"Clara! That is a horrible thing to do to someone!  Why would we WANT to?"
Betty thought this had gone far enough now and wanted her fellow wigs to
know she would have no part in such a plot.

"I agree with Betty, Clara, I think that would be quite mean.  She's done
nothing to deserve that!"  Ethel sided with Betty.  Clara saw Mabel nod as
well.

"You bunch of lily livered no account SYNTHETIC mounds of DOG HAIR!" Clara
had obviously flipped herself.  "SHE NEVER LIKED ANY OF YOU ANYWAY.  YOU
WERE ALWAYS THE SUBSTITUTES IF I WAS ILL.  SHE SPENT YEARS
SEARCHING FOR ME
AND WHEN SHE FOUND ME SHE STOPPED LOOKING!!!!!!"  Clara was obviously
in a
snit now and there was no stopping her tirade.

"Yeah," Betty said quietly, "because her REAL hair had grown back a lot by
then!"  The other two snorted at this comment which just sent Clara over
the edge again, literally.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!!!  SHE ADORED ME!!!! I HAD SO MANY RIBBONS YOU
THREE
COULDN'T BEGIN TO COUNT THEM!!!!!  SHE LOVED ME!!"  At this point Clara's
ranting had grown so strenuous that she actually tipped over and fell on
the floor.

"Oh!"

"Oh dear!"

"I knew this would happen again one day."  The other three all had their
own comment to this event.

It was a good thing Clara's head had already lost her nose but then, that's
pretty much how Clara's head HAD lost her nose several years ago when the
doctor first began to wear her own hair instead of them out in public.
Clara had never really gotten over the shock of being usurped by REAL HAIR.
The other three had taken it in stride, but Clara had always been a bit
unbalanced.

They all looked down and wondered how long it would be before Clara got put
back on the shelf next to them.  Their mistress hadn't been home in days.
For all they knew, she wouldn't be home for several more.

******************************************
THE FLOOR

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

<snort> What?  Huh?  What the hell was that?  Wha.....OH LORD NOT AGAIN!

No!  NO! Please!  No, not THAT!  Not the plastic sheet again!  NOOOOOOOOOO!

I can't BREATHE when you put that on me! NO! PLEASE!  Not the oil too!  Not
that!  It stains so badly!  I just got the last set of olive oil stains
out.  And I won't even TALK about those food stains from that little romp
you had on the breakfast table last week!  Do you KNOW how badly blackberry
jam STAINS????

Ooooof! Ouch! Damn!

Oh hell, no wrestling!  PLEASE!!!!!  I'm begging you here!  How can you do
this to me?  Can't you two go to the holodeck to do this kind of thing?  I
don't mind being walked on, I even rather liked that dancing you did that
one night, but this is totally uncalled for.

Oh, no, now I can't breathe!  <gasp> You know, I don't mind her lovely
behind being pounded into me but this is not good!

Oh, man!  Look at that!  Now that's gonna soak through to the padding!  I'm
gonna smell!  Man!  What did I do to deserve this!

I figured being in the captain's cabin would have some privileges!  But
this, this is just....oh MAN!  Ouch.  Stop that!  PLEASE!!!

Ohhhhh, what's THAT????? Chocolate? Oh, man, NOOOOOOOOO!  Do you have ANY
idea how badly chocolate STAINS??? NONONONONONONONO!
Just...awwwwwwww man!
See, now there was no need for you to ROLL in it!  Now look what you've
done! <disgusted sigh>  That's gonna just stay there... NO! NO! NOT THAT!
NO WINE!! PLEASE!!!! NOT RED WIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

<sob, gasp, sob>

THE END