BY: THE BEVSTER
CODES: STNG, P/Cish but indirectly, 1/1
RATING: PG-13 to R
ARCHIVE:  Sure, if you like, but keep my name attached.
FEEDBACK:  [email protected]

Author's Note:  This is insane!  Oh well, here's another.  Thank you
Krusher175, I know the accent on the second one is a bit much and I will
try to tone down the next one. :)  Thanks for betaing it for me!

Summary:  More POVs from the others in P & C's lives.

THE TURBOLIFT

Good Lord, Man!  That's no way to behave towards a lady!  What do...excuse
me, but that is NOT acceptable behavior for a gentleman!  SIR!  I MUST ask
you to stop that immediately!  I...oh, Sir, really now!  Do you think she
enjoys being slammed against my walls like...oh, sorry, my mistake,
apparently she DOES.  Ahem, well, there you are.

Sir, please, no, don't touch those...that's...excuse me, Sir, Madam, now I
really MUST insist you stop that this instant!  Oh, Madam, I AM sorry about
that.  Perhaps some ice would help.  I am sure being a physician helps with
those kinds of injuries.

Sir!  NO! Sir, PLEASE don't slam her against the control panel!  These are
delicate instruments, they...oh, Sir, that was rude!  My hydraulics were
not made to bear this kind of movement!  You are supposed to remain still
while you are in this chamber!

Madam, you will get rug burns doing those things.  I must insist on a
little decorum here.  This is not conduct becoming officers of your rank!

Oh, heavens!  Do you realize how many complaints I will have to listen to
if you don't allow me to resume my duties?  Why only yesterday, your first
officer was asking that nice young man from Engineering to run a diagnostic
on my systems to make sure I am functioning properly.  How I wish I could
TELL him why I am "not running properly!"

What if someone is in urgent need of my services?  Sir, I must ask you NOT
to throw those on my floor!  Last time you forgot to take them with you and
I'm sure the, um, LADY, missed them.

Forgive me, Sir, but I must protest.  I'm sure Madam is not enjoying...oh,
well, obviously I am once again incorrect in my assumptions.  And I always
believed the lady to be...well, a...a lady.  She has always been very well
behaved before, always politely asking for her destination, always standing
quietly until we reach it.  Well, I must admit, there was that one occasion
when she was examining the tonsils of that Trill person....apparently with
her tongue which rather amazed me since I was unaware it was considered a
medical instrument.  But even THEN there was none of this heaving and
pushing and thrusting and nakedness and, well, I won't even MENTION the
other things you two are doing to each other!

Oh my, MADAM!  That is...I...I'm SHOCKED!  SHOCKED!  Have you no sense of
decency??  Madam, I do not believe that was meant to be put in your mouth!
Yes, I realize he seems to be enjoying it but...oh, oh, please, I...I
shouldn't be forced to watch this!  This is...well...this is just
SCANDALOUS!!

I must protest!  Just look at that dent!  Oh, Sir, the commander will want
to know how that happened!

I don't know if I can allow this kind of activity any longer.  I may simply
have to ignore your commands to "halt."  This is definitely not good
Starfleet conduct!  Now I understand what the floor has been complaining
about so strenuously.  You really should be more considerate of your
surroundings and possessions!

I am simply...well, quite frankly, Sir, I am appalled!  I may have to ask
the central computer to lodge a protest!  This is DISGRACEFUL!

<huff>

*********************************************

THE DINING TABLE

Yo!  Hello GORGEOUS!  And to what do we owe de pleasure of YOUR company dis
fine mornin'?  I ain't seen you in WEEKS, Honey, where ya been hidin'?

Oooh, Doll!  That looks DE-licious!  He's gonna LIKE dat!  You know, Hon, I
always thought dose crescent things wasn't too good for him.  No substance,
if you know what I mean. <wink>

Oh, now dat is a NICE touch!  Waffles is always good.  Ooooooooooooh
strangled eggs too!  Yeah, Honey, that's some variety!  Oh, hey, I don't
know about dat!  Dat looks...well, weird! I don't tink he's gonna be eatin'
much a THAT, Sweetie.

Whoa, Doll!  Has no one been feedin' you lately?  Damn!  That's some
serious mass quantities of food goin' on here!  Who you feedin'?  All a
Starfleet?  Yo! Honey, you, him, me, if that's all, you better be callin'
that fat commander boy for some reinforcements 'cause dis is WAAAAAAAY too
much food for just the two a youse!

Oh, here he is now, maybe he can slow your hungry butt down a bit. I mean
you know I'm strong enough to hold it all, I just don't know if you WANT
dat much food, Doll.

Whoa, hey, Buddy, what de hell are you DOIN' wit dat spoon!?  Oh! Geez,
hehehehehehe, well, I didn't KNOW breakfast was gonna be a CONTACT sport!
Hehehehehhehehe

Oooh, yeah, she likes dat, don't she, Buddy? Ooh, yeah!  Dat's it!  Yeah!
Badda bing badda boom!  Oh yeah, she likes it a LOT!  Youse can tell by dem
little gasps and moans!

Whoa!  Hey, you know I don't tink de floor's gonna appreciate dat kinda
spillage!  Oof, hey, watch where yer puttin' her, Jack!  She ain't no waif
ya know!  Nice keester though, hehehehehehe.

Okay now DIS is summit' I can get into! YEAH!  I heard de sofa las' night!
Now I know what he was howlin' 'bout!  YEAH!  Go BUDDY!!!!!!!  You da
MAN!!!!!!

Hey, yo, be careful wit dat syrup, Dude!  Hey, dat stuff is STICKY!  You'll
be scrubbin' me for a week if you don't...awwwww dat's it!  You've done it
now!  Not dat SHE seems to mind! Hehehehehehehehehe

You know summit' Buddy, I think she LIKES bein', you'll excuse de
expression, rode hard and put up wet! Hehehehehehehehe.  Who knew de ol'
bald dude had that much goin' on?

I never knew you had it in ya, Pal!  I didn't!  Ya sit der on dat friggin'
sofa every time you come over here and you don't say much and ya leaves
early and dat's it!  Now dis!  Damn!  I neva KNEW!  I didn't know she had
it for ya DAT bad!!!  DAMN!

YEAH!  You screams all ya wants Honey, ain't nobody gonna hear ya!  Oh
yeah!  The honey!  Yeah, that's a good one!  Ooooooooh yeah, Doll, you go!
He's LOVIN' DAT!!  YEAH!

Oooh, hey, you might wanna watch the edges there Doll, that's gonna leave a
bruise!

Oops!  Now I'm gonna hafta listen to that damn floor complain all day about
THAT stain! Hehehehehehehe

Oh, man!  I hope the sofa saw that one!  YEAH, I know he's BEGGIN' for
another session on him!

Dat was GREAT!

You come back anytime, Buddy, she needs the exercise!  'Specially if she's
gonna eat like DAT all the time from now on!  Hehehehehehehehehehe.

YEAH!

<grin>

The End