Disclaimer: Don't own ANY of it. Not The Practice, not Star Trek, not Q, JLP, Bev, Emily Harrison or anything. I don't own squat but a vivid imagination and a raging obsession. But....it was just too good to pass up and I have incorrigible friends who taunt me into these things. :D
Author's Note: Gates McFadden appeared as Judge Emily Harrison on the February 13th episode of The Practice. The best part of the whole thing was 'the look' she gave Lara Flynn Boyle throughout the whole episode. It was Gates at her finest. Now, this all came about because I made a silly remark while talking to Zoinky, DocCulver, Nebula and a few others on Valentine's Day and this was the result. What if Q found Judge Harrison?????
BY: The Bevster
Codes: STNG, The Practice, P/C/Q/Judge Harrison
Rating: PG
Silliness Factor: 8
Feedback: Yes, please. If you feel so inclined.
Judge Emily Harrison took the next folder off the stack and started going over her next case. Unfortunately the air conditioning system had chosen this moment to quit working in the courthouse. The judge, not wishing to be anymore uncomfortable than necessary, decided it was time to remedy the sweltering heat a bit and shed her clothing under the heavy black robe. After removing the garments, she replaced the robe and her sensible but attractive pumps. No one would ever know and she knew that from experience. Emily Harrison then resumed her perusal of the cases on her docket.
Unbeknownst to the judge, something lurked under her desk. It watched the discarding of her dress, underwear and stockings with amusement and chuckled to itself. It had actually managed to find a woman even COLDER than Dr. Beverly Crusher and amazingly, one who looked exactly like her. The entity couldn't wait to spring THIS revelation on that dupe, Picard! Wouldn't Jean Luc be surprised!!!!
With a flash of unnatural light, Judge Harrison was whisked away to the 24th century. Unfortunately for her, Q had also added a wind element to his flashes. Her robes flew up around her head and she landed rather ungracefully on the floor......of Captain Jean Luc Picard's ready room. As the evil laughter ceased ringing in her ears, she tried to sit up.
Captain Picard looked up from his computer terminal to find Beverly Crusher lying in a heap of black material in front of his desk.
"Beverly?"
"Who?"
The captain rushed around the desk to help her up. Grasping her arm firmly he assisted the woman to her feet.
"What?" he asked, a bit confused by her answer to his calling her name.
"Who are YOU?"
"Beverly?" he asked again, wondering what had gotten into his friend.
"Who's Beverly?" She was obviously totally confused now. The woman looked around, behind her and removed her arm from his grasp.
"Who is Beverly and who are YOU?"
"Beverly," Jean Luc replied, now exasperated, "I don't have time for these games and why are you wearing that ridiculous outfit?"
Judge Harrison gave him THE LOOK.
"Excuse me?" she answered, haughtily. "I wear this 'ridiculous outfit' as you call it because I am an officer of the court! And I'll thank you to show a little respect. Speaking of ridiculous outfits, what the hell are YOU wearing?" She eyed the captain up and down before crossing her arms and waiting for an answer.
It was now the captain's turn to show her one of his OWN looks.
Just then the chime sounded.
"Come."
To his utter amazement, Beverly Crusher walked through the door and stopped dead as she saw Judge Harrison.
The two women gave each other THE LOOK. They then turned THE LOOK upon the captain.
"Q!!!!!" Picard yelled, obviously upset by this revelation.
"What the hell is going on???" the two women said simultaneously.
"QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ!!!!!!!!!!!" the captain's voice could be heard two decks below.
All they heard in response was maniacal laughter, then "Hello, Red!"
"Don't call me RED!" was the answer in stereo.
The two women gave Q, who had finally popped in, THE LOOK.
The entity was so overcome with mirth he was rolling on the couch, doubled over with laughter.
"Q! This is NOT amusing! Who is this woman and why have you brought her here?"
"Oh, mon capitaine! Surely you jest! Can't you see what FUN this will be?"
"I'm not 'jesting' and don't call me Shirley!"
"What are you up to Q???" Beverly asked, now showing her own annoyance.
"Yes, Q, what is the meaning of this?" the captain demanded.
"Oh come now, Picard, don't you see the humor in this? This woman could be Red's long lost ancestor!"
At that moment the Judge stepped up to Q and gave him an even more intense LOOK.
"How dare you kidnap an officer of the court. I'll have you thrown in the lowest cell at the worst jail in the city, Mister. You better like men named Bubba, that's all I can say!"
"Oh really?" Q replied, smirking.
"Yes. Really," she answered, crossing her arms.
Q snapped his fingers and the judge was suddenly stark naked, her robe having disappeared in the flash of light.
Unfortunately Q was not prepared for the back of her hand across his face.
The entity was still trying to recover as Beverly handed the judge her lab coat. Judge Harrison, not turning a hair, donned the garment and stood over the vanquished and totally astonished Q.
"Don't mess with Justice, Mister!" The judge snapped her fingers and disappeared in a blinding flash of red light.
Beverly, Picard and Q stood gaping at the empty space. The look on Q's face was so priceless Beverly and Jean Luc could not help but laugh. Q, still dumbfounded by the entire episode, started to pale visibly.
"Oh no!" he exclaimed.
Through his laughter, Picard managed to ask what had Q's knickers in a twist.
"That....that....oh no!!!!!!" It was all Q could manage as he rose from the floor and seated himself on the sofa, head in his hands.
Jean Luc and Beverly stopped laughing but could not get rid of their smirks.
"Someone not ready to take your guff, Q? Someone you didn't count on, Q?" Picard couldn't resist the opportunity to taunt his nemesis.
"I....I...." Q is still speechless.
"You what?" Beverly asked, still smirking. "You didn't realize you just pissed off someone who is more powerful than YOU????? Who is she, Q? A more powerful member of the Continuum without your warped sense of humor?"
Beverly could no longer contain her satisfied laughter and let it loose. She had to sit down she was so consumed by the thought that Q was going to have to answer to someone who looked exactly like HER!!!!!!!
Jean Luc joined in the laughter as Q raised his head.
"I think you've done it this time, Q."
"No, it...I....I didn't know! I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!"
Suddenly, in another blinding flash of red light, Q disappeared.
************************
Judge Emily Harrison made her way into her courtroom. She carried her usual load of case files and looked as lovely as ever.
From somewhere in the bowels of the courthouse a high pitched scream could be faintly heard.
Judge Harrison called her court to order as a tiny smirk appeared on her face.
"Next case."
THE END
"I'll let that go, Counsel. Once." Judge Emily Harrison (Gates McFadden) in The Practice.