Summary: After the events in Insurrection, Jean-Luc makes a decision on what to do with his life, but Beverly has her own ideas about what the Captain is thinking.

Arthor's Note:  This is my first completed P/C story.  Feedback is welcomed.  Special thanks to Kate Maschmeyer for all her help.

Disclaimer: Paramount, the great and powerful, owns all of Star
Trek. I merely claim this story.

Misinformation

Picard sat in his ready room staring out the view port, mulling over the events of the past few weeks.  After leaving the Ba'ku homeworld, things on the Enterprise had begun to return to normal.  Data continued to explore his newfound emotions, especially the concept of play.  Riker and Troi were performing their duties at their normal levels of efficiency, though he had to admit that his first officer's and counselor's relationship had changed.  Worf had returned to his post at Deep Space Nine.  Picard had even resumed his old breakfast routine with Beverly.

After breakfast this morning, they had parted as usual to go about their respective duties for the day.  They were on a fairly routine mission, en route to study a newly discovered binary star.  He had retreated to his ready room and Beverly to her office in sickbay.  For the most part, it was all quite normal---and the normalness bothered him.

When Jean-Luc said goodbye to Anij, he hadn't wanted to leave Ba'ku.  He expected that in the days and weeks to follow, he would miss her terribly.  They had discussed his next shore leave with great anticipation.

Now that time had actually passed, he was trying to understand why he did not yearn to return to Ba'ku as he thought he would.

He walked over to the replicator to order some tea. Returning to his spot in front of the view port, he continued to mull over what had happened on the planet.

After taking care of the Son'a, his time on Ba'ku had been peaceful and simple, a welcomed respite from life as a starship captain.  He felt better physically than he had in years, almost youthful.

In a way, his time on the planet had reminded him of his youth at his family home in France.

Memories of his childhood flooded his head as continued to stare out the view port.

His father had been a simple man with simple ways.  Each afternoon, Jean-Luc and his brother would help his father tend the vineyards.  After the day's work was completed, Jean-Luc would walk to the hilltop overlooking the vineyards to wait for the sunset.  He would lie on his back in the cool grass of the hill, a warm breeze blowing over him, and wait.  Though the sunset would always be beautiful, he knew that it was not what drew him to the hilltop.  The sunset was merely a means to an end.  He would patiently watch the sun dip below the horizon and, one by one, the stars would come out.  They would fill the sky with their luminance and he was drawn to them.  The sunsets had been beautiful, but the stars were what set his heart on fire.

Ba'ku had also been beautiful, like those sunsets of his youth.  But, he realized, in order to stay in the moment of the sunset, he would have to deny the fire that drew him to the stars.

Staring out the view port, it was then that Picard realized that Ba'ku was not a "dream world" at all.  It was a world without a dream.  One day he might return to enjoy the many benefits of Ba'ku, but he could never stay.  He had never been content as a child to merely watch the stars from a hilltop, he had to venture out into them.  He had to discover their mysteries.

Still, some regret filled his heart.  He would miss the feelings that he had shared with Anij.  He had enjoyed their time together, their lively conversations about the colony's choice to abandon technology.  She could have been a wonderful companion for him in his later years.  He needed someone to share his life, he thought, and had hoped that Anij would be that someone.  She had filled a void in his heart that had once been reserved for another.  Now that place was empty again.

So, what now, he thought.  He didn't want to live with Anij on a world as simplistic as Ba'ku.  He also knew that she relished in it's simplicity and she would never be content to leave.  Their relationship had been doomed from the start.

The whole situation angered him.

"Damn her," he said aloud.

He could no longer live like this.  It was time to settle it once and for all.  She would either have to fill his void or he would seal it forever.

Picard's regret had turned to anger, and his anger to determination.  His life was back to normal again on the Enterprise, he thought, but not for long.  He didn't want his old life back.  He wanted more.

Turning from the view port, he set his jaw and headed out the door.  He was going to have to take action if his life was ever going to change.  He was a man on a mission.

******************

Beverly Crusher's world was about to change and she didn't have a clue.  It had been a typical morning aboard the Enterprise.  She had had breakfast with Jean-Luc in his quarters and returned to sickbay to check in on some patients.

She had been sitting in her office for about an hour when she thought back to their breakfast together.  Jean-Luc had been unusually quiet and she didn't dare ask him why.  She figured he was missing Anij and she wasn't in the mood to listen to Jean-Luc's pining over her.  He hadn't spoken much about Anij since their departure from Ba'ku, but Beverly had seen them together on the planet.  She knew of his plans to return there on his next shore leave.  While they were on the planet, Jean-Luc had spent almost all of his time with Anij.  Beverly had been a little miffed at the fact that he practically ignored her while they were there.  He barely paid any attention to her at all except, of course, when Anij needed her medical expertise.  Not that Beverly hesitated for a second to help Anij after the cave-in.  She was too much of a professional to let her personal feelings get in the way of her job.  And she didn't really dislike Anij.  In fact, she respected Anij for all of her accomplishments on the planet.

Still, seeing Jean-Luc and Anij together had hurt her more than she wanted to admit, even to herself.  It was all so confusing.  Beyond friendship, she had no hold on Jean-Luc.  They had each had relationships before and each time when those relationship ended, they depended on each other to lean on.  They were still best friends.  But this time was different, she realized.  This time, the relationship had not ended.  Soon, he would be with Anij again, and then what?  Beverly was not sure that he would even return to the Enterprise.  What could Starfleet offer him that compared to eternal youth?  What could she offer him compared to a woman who would always stay young, always beautiful.

Beverly was so caught up in her revelation that she didn't see Jean-Luc ease into her doorway.  He stood there for several seconds looking at her.  Suddenly, he was not so sure of himself.  Their friendship was just beginning to resume its old course again.  Was he willing to risk the possibility of her turning away from him again?  All the sudden, his well rehearsed speech flew out of his mind.  She began muttering something to herself, getting louder with each passing second.  She had obviously still not seen him in the door so he took the opportunity to study her.  She was beautiful, as always.  She reached up and ran her fingers through her hair.  He so much wanted to sink his own hand into her fiery mane.  He wanted to wrap his arm around her waist and pull her body tight against his, to press his lips to hers and kiss her until they were both breathless, to ....

"Damn," she said softly.  "What if he doesn't come back?", not realizing she was speaking aloud.

Beverly's statement shook Picard from his daydream and he decided to get her attention before she caught him staring at her.

 "Who?," he asked as he fully entered the office.

"Jean-Luc?" she stammered, startled by his sudden appearance. "How long have you been standing there?"

"What if who doesn't come back?"  he asked casually, ignoring her question.

"I ... um... no one.  I mean, I was just thinking out loud about some lab tests that Ensign Matthews had taken to the biometrics lab and, well, never mind.  It's not important."  Quickly she attempted to change the subject. "So, what brings you to sickbay, Captain.  Is there something I can do for you?"

Jean Luc's mind began to fill with all sorts of things "she could do" for him.  Focus Picard, he scolded himself.  "No, I ... I was just on passing by sickbay and thought I'd stop by.  I was wondering if you had plans for tonight?  There are some things I need to have your input on, so I thought we could have dinner.... and,  .... discuss .... those things."  Picard waited for what seemed like an eternity for Beverly to answer.  This had not gone as smoothly as he had planned.  He had been fumbling over his words and now she was just staring blankly back at him.

Beverly was caught off guard.  Jean-Luc hadn't asked her to dinner since their return from Ba'ku and now he was standing nervously in front of her, practically falling over his words.  Oh God, she thought, he's leaving.  He's leaving and wants to break it to me gently over dinner.  What else could have him in such a state?

"Uh, .. okay."  Her mind was reeling.  "What about my quarters,  ... 19:00 hours?" she said.  This way, she thought, Jean-Luc could say what he wanted to say and make a quick exit.  Better to get it over with and let him leave.

"Right ... yes... that would be fine,"  Picard replied, backing out of the office.  "I'll .... I'll see you tonight then," he said, turning so abruptly that he brushed his shoulder into the door frame.  "Merde," she heard him say under his breath while he walked away.  Quickly, he made his way out of sickbay.

What's wrong with me, Picard thought while walking back to his ready room.  He was acting like a schoolboy asking a girl on his first date, for God's sake.  He would have to get control of himself if his plan was going to work.

Already, there was a chink in his plans.  He had not intended on having dinner in Beverly's quarters.  In his own quarters, he could have chosen the perfect scene for his seduction - the right wine, the right music, candlelight, maybe even ask her to dance.

Then again, he thought, perhaps her quarters did have its advantages.  Beverly couldn't very well flee from her own quarters after their dinner.  He could control how, and more importantly, when their evening ended.  He would have to be careful.  Pushing her too far, too fast, could put him on the wrong end of that famous Howard temper.  Not that he really disliked Beverly's temper.  Their heated discussions were legends aboard the Enterprise.  It was one of the things that drew him to her.  She never patronized him because he was the captain, especially if she thought he was wrong.  Still, he didn't want to intentionally provoke her, at least, not to anger.  He would have to plan this evening perfectly.

************

Luckily, things in sickbay were slow for the rest of the morning.  Lucky for the crew, that was.  Ten minutes after Picard had left, Beverly was fuming.  Her staff knew enough about their boss to stay out of her way after she abruptly closed her office door and could be heard through the closed door talking to herself.  They could have sworn they even heard occasional muffled curses coming through the closed door.  Though curious at what had their CMO so furious, none of the staff ventured close enough to the door to understand her one-sided conversation, fearful that she might open the door at any moment and vent her anger on the closest victim.

"So, he wants my input, does he.  I'll give him my input.  I'll tell him exactly what I think of Jean-Luc Picard and what he can do with his farewell dinner."  Beverly was furious, not only with Picard, but with herself.  In the ten minutes since Jean-Luc had left, she had convinced herself that not only was he going back to Anij, but he probably was not coming back at all.  "How could he leave?" she ranted.  "Starfleet is his whole life.  How could he give up the Enterprise?  And for what? For her?  Ahhhh."

"Troi to Crusher," her communicator chirped as Beverly sat forcefully in her chair.

"Go ahead," she said, a little too harshly.

Troi was taken aback by the anger she heard in Crusher's tone.  "Beverly, is everything all right?"

"Yes... no," Crusher forced herself to calm down.  "I'm sorry.  What can I do for you Deanna?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch?"  Deanna replied.

Beverly paused a moment before answering.  "I'm sorry, Deanna.  I don't think I'd be very good company right now and I'm pretty busy in sickbay," she lied.  "Perhaps another time."

Troi didn't know why her friend had lied to her, but she could feel Beverly's anguish and  knew that she needed a friend right now.

"I'll tell you what," Troi said.  "I'll come down in a few minutes and we can order something from the replicator in your office.   Okay?"

Beverly paused again. "Okay, sure.  I'll see you a in few minutes."  Beverly knew that Troi would not let this drop.  Perhaps, she thought, Deanna would even help her calm down enough to face Picard that evening.  Her anger was beginning to fade into feelings of frustration.  Who was she to fault Jean-Luc, she thought.  If he wanted to live with Anij for the rest of his life, who was she to tell him not to.  After all, she didn't expect him to remain on the Enterprise forever.  And Starfleet wasn't all that it once had been.  Why shouldn't he go to Anij and live forever on their world.  It would be tempting even for her, she admitted.  To never have to worry about growing old, to feel youthful again and live on such a beautiful planet.  What could compare to that?  He really had no reason to stay.  "It's your own damned fault," she said out loud a few moments later.  She realized that she had never given him a reason to stay, not really.  True, they were best friends, but Jean-Luc wanted more from their relationship.  He needed more, and she had never been willing to give it.

As Troi walked through the doors, she was greeted by stares from the few medical staff that were forced to remain in sickbay.  The uneasiness in the room nearly overwhelmed her.

Nurse Ogawa approached her from one side.  "Can I help you, counselor?" she stated with a forced smile.

"No, I'm just here to see Dr. Crusher."  Ogawa gave her an uneasy look.  Sensing her protectiveness, Troi added, "It's okay Alyssa, she knows I'm coming."

Ogawa smiled.  "Right.  Thank you counselor."  Ogawa didn't like to see her boss upset and knew if anyone could help her, it was Troi.

Deanna could feel the tension slightly easing from the sickbay staff.  What was going on here, she thought.  Beverly's staff loved and respected her.  What could have them so wary of their boss.  Pressing the chime to Beverly's office, she waited for her response before entering cautiously.

"Hi Deanna.  So, what do you want for lunch?"  Beverly stated with a forced smile.

"Oh, I don't know.  I'm not really that hungry anymore.  I thought we could maybe just chat for a while."

Beverly knew there was no way to hide her feelings from her friend.  "Deanna, I'm not sure I want to talk about this right now."

"Now, I've heard that line before."  She paused, sitting down in the chair across from Crusher.  "Beverly, what is wrong?  I could sense your feelings from half-way across the ship and your staff, well, they're avoiding you like the plague.  What has happened?  Is Wesley all right?"

"Yes, Wesley is okay.  Or at least I guess he is," she said with a sigh.  "Not that I ever hear from him enough to know if he's okay."
 
"Then what?  What's going on?"  Deanna waited patiently for Beverly to answer.

Beverly signed again, her head bowed and her eyes on her lap.  Before speaking, she looked up sheepishly for a brief moment to catch Deanna's gaze.  "I think the Captain is leaving the ship."

"Oh .... I see."  Deanna paused.  She was taken aback by this news.  "When did this happen?  You said you think he's leaving.  Did he tell you this himself?"

"No, not exactly.  He wants to have dinner with me tonight and I think he's going to tell me then."  She signed heavily, then continued.  " He said he wanted my input on an important decision and, well, you know he's been planning to return to Ba'ku the first chance he gets."

"Did he say that Ba'ku had something to do with this decision?"

"No, he didn't have to, Deanna.  What else could it be?"  Beverly was speaking more quickly now.  "He was so nervous when he asked me to dinner this morning.  I could tell what he wants to discuss will not be good news."

"Beverly, listen to me."  Deanna paused until she was sure she had the doctor's full attention.  She knew that deep down Beverly loved the Captain, but was just afraid to tell him.  "First of all, you don't know what the Captain wants to talk with you about.  And second,"  she paused.  "If you're right and he is planning to leave, why shouldn't he?  What reason have you given him to stay?"

Beverly sat in her chair silently, he head bowed.

Deanna waited a moment for her to respond, but Beverly kept silent.

"Right.  That's what I thought."  She hated to see her friend in pain, but knew this had to end one way or the other.  "Beverly, if you want him to stay, tell him.  No, better yet, show him."

"I know, Deanna, but it's just so complicated between me and Jean-Luc.  There's just been so much history between us."

"I realize that Beverly, but don't you see, if you're wrong and the Captain isn't going to leave this time, how long do you think it will be until there is a next time?  You can't expect him to wait forever."  Troi stood to leave.  "Think about it Beverly.  But if you don't ask him to stay, then let him go, not just for him, but for you too."  Enough said, Deanna walked out of the office. She hoped her friend would make the right decision.

Beverly knew that Troi was right.  She was not absolutely sure what Jean-Luc wanted to discuss with her.  And if he did want to leave, who was she to tell him not to.  She had not given Jean-Luc any reason to stay.  He had given her plenty of opportunities and she had blown them all.  Even now, she still feared taking their relationship that next step and it was probably too late anyway.  She wasn't being fair to him and he had been more than patient with her.  She loved him too much to stand in the way of his happiness.  She made her decision.  She would prepare a perfect dinner for him, let him know how much she valued their friendship, and then, if he wanted to leave, she would wish him well and let him go.

She leaned wearily back into her chair again.  How was she going to make it through the day without her heart exploding?

**************

Troi felt drained when she left Beverly's office.  What if Beverly was right and the Captain was leaving the ship?  She knew that eventually, many of her friends would go on to other things, but this was so unexpected.  She had not sensed anything from the Captain lately to make her believe he was unhappy on the Enterprise.  Quite the opposite.  The last few days, he seemed more his old self again.  When they were on the Ba'ku homeworld, she knew of his growing feelings for Anij, but he had not mentioned her or the Ba'ku in several weeks.  Perhaps he had said something to Will.  After all, if the Captain were leaving the ship, Will would be the logical choice to replace him.

"Computer, location of Commander Riker,"  she said.

"Commander Riker is in Ten-Forward,"  the computer chimed back.

Great, Deanna thought.  With all that happened in Beverly's office, they had forgotten about lunch.  And now, she was hungry.  When she entered Ten-Forward, she immediately saw Riker sitting alone at a side table, eating a large platter of baked salmon.

"Looks good," she said from over his shoulder.  "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all, Deanna," he said while pulling out a chair for her.  "I thought you were having lunch with Beverly."

"Well, that was the plan, but we sort of got side-tracked."  Deanna didn't want to betray Beverly's trust so she decided to change the subject.  "So, how's your day been?  Anything new I should know about?", she inquired sweetly.

Riker looked at her slyly and grinned.  Something in her question made him wonder if she knew something he didn't.  "No," he said, "not that I know of.  Anything NEW with you?"

"No," she sighed, "not really."  This was not working.  Deanna would have to try a different tack.  He knew her too well.  Better to just get it out in the open and ask him.  After placing her order with the waiter, she asked casually.  "Will, have you noticed anything different about the Captain in the last few days.  I mean, has he said anything to you about not being happy here.  Anything about missing Anij and returning to the Ba'ku homeworld."

Will was taken aback by the question.  Deanna was not usually this forward.  This must be serious, he thought.

"No, not really.  Why?  Have you heard something about him leaving Deanna?  Not that I would blame him really.  Ba'ku would be a great place to live and Anij," he grinned and rolled his eyes, "well, you couldn't blame him.  She has great  ..... "  Deanna slapped his arm before he could finish.  He laughed at his teasing of her.  "Well, I wouldn't be too worried about it.  To be honest, I don't think the effects of Ba'ku lasted all that long on our Captain.  Lately, all he's talked about is his excitement over our visit to the archeological digs at Devan II next month."

Deanna was relieved by Will's comments.  If the Captain was planning to leave anytime soon, surely he would have told his First Officer something to prepare him for their upcoming mission.

After making plans to join Will later that evening, Deanna made her way back to her office.  She had several appointments that afternoon and wanted to get them out of the way so she could speak to Beverly again before her dinner with Picard.

By 17:00 hours, Deanna had finished with her appointments. Her earlier conversation with Will convinced Deanna that Beverly was probably wrong about the Captain's departure.  She didn't want Beverly's confusion to add more tension to her friends' already strange relationship.  Perhaps, they just needed a little push in the right direction, she thought.  With that in mind, she decided a little visit to the Captain might be in order.

***************

Picard was about to leave his ready room for the day when his door chimed.  "Come," he said.  "Counselor, what can I do for you?"

"Hello Captain," Deanna said as she strode over to the chair in front of the desk.  "I was wondering if we could talk for a minute."

"Certainly, counselor.  What's on your mind?"  Picard said, hoping that Troi would not keep him too long.  He still had arrangements to make for his dinner with Beverly.

"I'll get right to the point Captain.  As ship's counselor, part of my duties include helping the crew cope with major personnel changes aboard the ship."  She paused, looking for any sense of understanding in the Captain's eyes.  There was none.

Picard was beginning to get concerned over this conversation.  He wasn't aware of any recent personnel changes.  Was someone planning on leaving and hadn't told him?

"And it's come to my attention," Deanna continued, "that there's a rumor floating around that YOU might be leaving the ship."  Well, she thought, it wasn't exactly a rumor, but what better way to get at the truth?  She was just glad that Picard wasn't empathic.

Picard just stared at her for a moment.  "Me?" he replied.  "Why would anyone think that I'd be leaving the ship?"

"Oh, you know how rumors get started Captain.  Besides, it's not really that hard to believe.  After our recent contact with the Ba'ku, I wouldn't have been surprised if half the ship left.  Not only was Ba'ku a very inviting world, but the way Starfleet attempted to kidnap them from their homeworld left a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths."  Troi hoped that her explanation made sense.

Picard eyed her suspiciously.  He wasn't sure he fully believed her explanation.  "Well, be that as it may counselor, you can assure everyone that I have no plans to leave the Enterprise.  Ba'ku may have been inviting to some, but I would be bored stiff living there.  Besides, I don't even like to take vacations."  Picard smiled slightly at his own joke.  He knew how hard the crew had worked in the past to get him to take time off.  Deanna recognized his attempt to lighten the mood and smiled back at him.  He paused for a moment more and then added, "Deanna, I'm curious, where did you hear this rumor?"

Troi was at a loss.  She realized that the Captain's use of her first name meant that he was asking her as a friend, not her superior officer.  What could she say?  Should she tell him of her conversation with Beverly?  She decided to sidestep the question a little.

"Well, actually, Captain, Commander Riker and I were discussing it earlier today.  I think he had heard it too."   It wasn't really a lie, she thought, although he did hear it from her.  "Of course, Will told me that he didn't believe it.  And, I think, someone in sickbay may have mentioned it also when I was there before lunch," she added, hoping Picard would think it was an afterthought.

Picard's mind began to wander.  Sickbay?  If the rumor was floating around sickbay, he wondered if Beverly had heard it.  Surely not, he thought, she would have said something to him.  At least, he hoped she still cared enough to say something.

Realizing that he had been sitting there for a moment staring into space, Picard turned his attention back to Troi.

"Well," he said.  "Thank you counselor."  He wasn't sure what exactly he was thanking her for, but he couldn't think of a better response at the moment.  "I'm sure you can put this rumor to rest now that you know the truth."  He stood, indicating to Troi that the meeting was over.

Deanna took the not too subtle hint.  She was satisfied that her last comment had the desired effect and was happy to leave the Captain to dwell on this new information.  It was time for a little visit with the other half of this duo.

*************

Beverly had been in her quarters for an hour, trying to decide how she was going to handle her dinner with Picard.  The afternoon had not gone well.  There had been nothing to do in sickbay that could keep her mind from dwelling on her relationship (or lack there of) with the Captain.  The more she tried to convince herself that she should be happy for Jean-Luc, the more she admonished herself for sending him away in the first place.  She had to get a hold on her feelings before he arrived.  Damned if she was going to make a fool of herself in front of him.  Better to just let him say what he had to say and bow out gracefully.

She had just finished dressing for the evening when the door chimed.

"Come in," she said, hoping that Jean-Luc wasn't early.  She wasn't ready to face him yet.

When Deanna entered her quarters, Beverly was relieved, but a little surprised.  Why would Deanna stop by when she knew she was having dinner with the Captain.

"Deanna, hi.  I didn't expect to see you this evening."

"Well, I was hoping to speak with you before your dinner with the Captain.  He's not expected yet is he?"

"No.  Not for another hour.  Why?"  Beverly was beginning to get a feeling of dread.  Had Deanna heard something that she should know?

Deanna hid a smile.  She felt her friend's anguish, but didn't want her news to relieve Beverly's fears too much.  If Beverly knew for sure the Captain had no intention of leaving, she might begin to take him for granted again.

"Oh, I just wanted to see how you were doing?  You were still pretty upset when I left sickbay earlier."  Deanna began surveying the room.  Beverly had set candles on the dinning table, but aside from that, things looked pretty boring.  Then she looked at Beverly's outfit.  "You're not going to wear that to dinner are you?" she said.  At least Beverly had changed from her uniform, but the floppy pants and blouse weren't much of an improvement.

"What's wrong with what I have on?  Anyway, what does it matter.  Jean-Luc isn't going to change his plans based on what clothes I wear?"

Deanna looked straight into her friends eyes, sure to have her attention before speaking.  "Beverly.  You don't know even know what the Captain's plans are?  He may have no intention of leaving the ship, at least not right now."

Beverly eyed Deanna suspiciously.  "What do you mean, at least not right now?  Is there something you're not telling me Deanna.  Because if there is, you'd better spit it out.  I've had my fill of surprises today."  Beverly was on the verge of getting angry.

"Calm down, Beverly.  I just meant that perhaps it isn't too late to try and persuade him to stay, not to say that I know he's going anywhere."

Beverly flopped down on the sofa.  "Oh, I don't know Deanna.  I'm getting too old for this.  Maybe it would be better for both of us if he did leave.  That way, at least I wouldn't have to THINK about it anymore."

"I know you don't really mean that Beverly."  She paused.  "I know you have feelings for the Captain.  Why don't you just tell him the truth?"

Beverly was silent for a moment, contemplating what Deanna had said.  Maybe she was right.  She loved Jean-Luc and she didn't want to lose him.  What if he hadn't made up his mind to leave yet.  This could be her last chance to tell him how she felt without acting like a complete fool.  She bit her lip and sighed heavily.  What the hell.  She smiled.  If he has decided to leave, at least she could show him what he'll be missing.

"Okay," she said, looking up at Deanna.  "What do you want me to do?"

Deanna smiled triumphantly.  "Come on, get up," she said, pulling Beverly to her feet.  "First, we'll start with a dress."

******************

Picard strode down the corridors with controlled determination. He had not yet worked out all the details of what he would say to Beverly, but felt confident that when the time came, he would come up with something.  At least, he hoped he would.  After all, he was one of Starfleet's most accomplished diplomats, he told himself.  It had all seemed so easy this morning in his ready room. He and Beverly would have a nice dinner, drink a bottle of wine, and then he would tell her how he felt.  True, he had done that once before, after the capture by the Prytt, but this was different.  Then, he was unprepared for her rejection. He did not expect her to walk out the door that night.  After all, he knew that she loved him.  Though she had not said it out loud, he had heard it loud and clear in her thoughts after she pushed him through the forcefield opening at the Kes-Prytt border.

Now, as he was walking down the corridor, the knots in his stomach were becoming more and more pronounced.  He would almost have rather faced a group of angry Nausicans than the woman behind the quickly approaching door.  Well, he wasn't totally unprepared, he thought. He had taken special care to pick out a perfect after-dinner wine and had ordered a bouquet of red roses.  Now standing outside her door, he took one last deep breath before pressing the chime.

When she heard the chime, Beverly jumped.  She was nervous.  Taking a deep breath, she passed by the mirror one last time.  Not bad, she thought.  Deanna had really outdone herself this evening.  Going through Beverly's closet, had she picked out a medium blue satin dress. It molded to Beverly's body like a glove, hanging slightly off her shoulders with the hem coming to mid-thigh.  Beverly had bought the dress on her last shore leave, but never had the occasion to wear it.  Deanna had also picked out a small gold locket, which lay gently just above Beverly's breasts. She had not yet slipped on the matching shoes and decided at the last minute to go barefoot. After all, they would be dining in her cabin.  Satisfied with her appearance, Beverly walked to the door and opened it.

Picard was a little startled to see Beverly standing so close on the other side of the doorway when it opened. The sight of her nearly took his breath away.  She was gorgeous.

"Jean-Luc," Beverly's voice almost caught in her throat. "Please come in. Dinner is almost ready."

Picard just stood there, cradling a bottle of wine in one arm while the other held the flowers behind his back.   Standing there in his stupor, the arm holding the roses dropped to his side.  The site of the bouquet caught Beverly's eye. "Are those for me?" she asked quietly.

"What?"  The question broke Jean-Luc's stupor and he held the roses towards her.  "Oh ... yes.  I hope you like them."

"They're beautiful," she said, taking the flowers and walking further in the room.  Picard followed her slowly.  "Yes," he said softly, "beautiful," not speaking about the flowers at all.  The inflection in his voice was not missed by Beverly and she smiled a little before turning back toward him.

"So, are you ready to eat, or would you like a drink first?" she asked him.

Picard thought for a second.  He had to get control of himself so food might be a good distraction.  "I'm ready to eat whenever you are.  What are we having?"

"Oh, nothing fancy, just salad and fettuccini alfredo.  I haven't decided on dessert yet.  I thought you could decide what you wanted."

Picard raised an eyebrow.  He had already decided what he wanted after dessert.  "Sounds delicious," Picard replied, a low timber in his voice.  "I'm sure that we can come up with something satisfying for dessert."

She stared at him for a moment before turning to get their dinner.  If she had not known the purpose for this dinner, she would have sworn Picard wasn't speaking about food.

Beverly brought out the dinner while Jean-Luc picked up the wine Beverly had placed on the table and poured them each a glass.  He then pulled out her chair and waited for her to be seated before taking his own chair across the table.

They chatted casually over dinner, going over ship's business and latest gossip.  After dinner they had relocated to the sofa with the bottle of wine that Picard had brought.  It had been a comfortable evening so far, much like old times.  The conversation drifted to the relationship between Troi and Riker.

"I'll have to admit, I wasn't that surprised when things between them changed after returning from Ba'ku,"  Jean-Luc said.  "I think Deanna and Worf's relationship got Will to thinking and with Worf stationed on DS9, well, I guess Will saw it as a new opportunity to see if he and Deanna could make a go of it."

"Really, Jean-Luc, you surprise me.  I would never have thought of you as such a romantic," she teased him.

He refilled her glass before answering.

"Well, I guess our experience with the Ba'ku changed us all a little, don't you think," he grinned.  "I guess it got me to thinking too, more about the future, about how I wanted to spend the rest of my life and who I want to spend it with."

Oh God, Beverly thought.  Here it comes.  He's going to tell me that he's returning to Anij.

Taking a gulp of her wine, she steeled herself for what she knew he was going to say next.

He noticed her tense up.

"Beverly, are you all right?  Perhaps you should slow down a little on the wine.  This is the real stuff you know?"

Picard wanted the lovely doctor in full control of her faculties tonight and he certainly didn't want her to pass out on him.

"Oh, I'm fine, Jean-Luc,"  she squeaked out, clearing her throat and trying to control her rapidly increasing heart rate.

"Are you sure?"  He placed a hand on her shoulder.  "Perhaps you should just take it easy for a moment."

She quickly pulled away from his touch and rose from the sofa.  Oh God, she thought, why doesn't he just get it over with.  I can't take much more of this.  Beverly's stomach was doing flip-flops and her body was beginning to betray her.  He had been sitting so close on the sofa and his touch had been so tender.  Why does he have to be so irresistible?  If he doesn't finish this soon, I'm going to make a fool of myself.

"Jean-Luc, why don't you just say what you came here to say and we can call it a night?"

Picard was shocked when she pulled away from him so abruptly and now she was asking him to leave.  This was not at all how he wanted this evening to end.

"Beverly, what's wrong?"

He stood and followed her to the other side of the room, her back still to him.  Why was she getting so upset?  He raked his hand slowly over this head and took a deep breath.  He had to find a way of calming her down.

Apprehensively, he placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Beverly, please. Come sit down and talk to me."  His thumbs tenderly caressed her bare shoulders as he spoke and Beverly gasped slightly at the contact.

Picard misinterpreted her gasp and pulled away quickly.  What the devil was going on?  They had been so comfortable together a few minutes ago and now she was pulling away from him as if she had been burned.  He was tired of this game and was beginning to get angry.

"Damn it, Beverly.  What do you want from me?  I thought that at the very least we were friends and yet you treat me like you don't even know me."

Beverly took a deep breath.  He was right.  He deserved better from her.  They had been friends for a long time and nothing had changed that.  She turned slowly and faced him.

"Jean-Luc, I know why you're here.  After all that's happened recently, I was expecting you to come there like this."  She paused for a moment.  "And I think it's the right thing, for both of us.  We need to move on, don't you think?  I know it will make you happy.  After all, we're best friends, right?  I want you to be happy."

Jean-Luc's anger turned to confusion.  How could she know why he was there tonight.  He had only realized it himself that morning.

"You know why I'm here?" he asked.

"Jean-Luc, I'm not blind.  I know things have changed between us.  They needed to change.  So lets just get this over with.  Do what you came here to do and we can get on with our lives."

She paused again, the frustration clear on her face.

"I'm sorry, Jean Luc.  This is just so hard.  You're my best friend and I don't want to lose that."  She looked down toward her hands in front of her and continued.  "Let's just get this over with and you can go."

Picard stared at her in disbelief.  Get it over with?  He didn't want to get it over with.  He wanted their first night together to be slow and passionate.  He wanted to spend the entire night pleasing this woman.

Beverly's anger was returning.

"Just do it, Jean-Luc," she nearly screamed at him.

He was still in shock.  This was not how he planned it at all.  He wanted his first night with Beverly to be slow and tender, their passion growing until neither of them could control, or wanted to control themselves.  Then again, he thought, perhaps she was right.  They had been playing footsie around each other for years and where had it gotten them?  Frustrated and alone.  Maybe if he broke that first barrier, things could progress between them.  Then there would be no doubts, no turning back.  He set his jaw.

"All right," he stated quickly.  "Fine."

With that, he grabbed her by the arms and pulled her to him quickly, covering his mouth with hers, forcing her lips open with his tongue in a searing kiss.

Beverly was stunned.  She had never expected this.  What was he trying to do, drive her crazy?  The intentions of the kiss were unmistakable.  Certainly he didn't expect a one night fling and then he could just walk away?  Her body went limp.  Oh God, she thought, she had wanted him so badly, but not like this.   Despite her growing anger and confusion, he body continued to betray her.  He felt so good against her.  She could feel his growing arousal pressing against her, his strong hands holding her, and his tongue was doing wondrous things to her mouth.  She was beginning to lose all conscious thought when he pulled away from her abruptly and stared breathlessly in her eyes.

"Jean-Luc," she gasped.  "Why are you doing this?"

"Beverly, I don't understand.  I thought ... ", but she cut him off.

"I don't know what the hell you thought, Captain, but now I think you should just leave."  She was clearly angry again.

Picard just stood there stunned.  He couldn't believe what he was hearing.  Damned if she was going to throw him out like this.  He had to get control of this situation again.

"Beverly," he said, taking a deep breath and sitting down on the sofa.  "I'm not sure what is going on, but I can't take this.  First you want me to stay, then you want me to go.  Why does this have to be so hard?  Just tell me what you want."

"What I want?"  she screamed.  "This isn't about what I want, Jean-Luc.  I'm not the one who's leaving."

"But you just TOLD me to leave?" he nearly shouted.

"That's not what I mean, Jean-Luc," she pleaded for his understanding as she sat in the chair across from him.  Beverly took a deep breath to quell her anger and then continued softly, her eyes in her lap.  "I can's stand the thought of being with you like this tonight, Jean-Luc.  Not if you're going back to her."

Picard just sat there for a moment.  "To her?," he repeated softly, more to himself than to Beverly.  Suddenly realization hit him.  Beverly HAD heard the rumor.  She thought he was going back to Ba'ku, back to Anij.  God, this was a big mess.  He closed his eyes and signed deeply.  He had to find a way to make her see the truth.

Slowly he eased himself from the sofa and kneeled before her.  She continued to stare at her hands in her lap.

Ever so gently, he took her hands in his.

When she didn't respond, he began to speak softly.  "Beverly, please look at me."

After what seemed like an eternity to him, she raised her eyes.  His heart nearly froze when he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks.  He had one chance at this.  One chance to make things right between them again.

"Beverly, I'm not going anywhere, not back to Ba'ku, and," he paused for a moment.  "And, if you'll let me," he paused again and then continued slowly "not from this room tonight.  I love you, Beverly.  I always have and nothing will ever change that."

He closed his eyes and readied himself for her response.  When none came after a few seconds, he opened them again to see her smiling sweetly at him through her tears.

She loosened her hand from his grasp and raised it to caress his cheek.

"Make love to me, Jean-Luc," she said softly.

His heart was beating so loudly in his chest that he wasn't sure if he heard her correctly and he froze, not daring to make the same mistake twice.  He gazed into her eyes and whatever questions he had were swept away by the passion he saw in her deep blue pools.

He reached for her hand which still rested on his cheek and kissed it lightly as she knelt down to face him.

He leaned into her ever so slowly until their lips were mere centimeters apart.

Beverly could stand this no more.  She longed for this man to touch her in ways that she had only dreamed of.  She quickly closed the distance between with a passionate kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him tight against her body.

Picard needed no further encouragement.  He engulfed her in his arms.  The remained locked in the passionate embrace for several moments until their bodies broke apart, both of them breathless.

"Beverly, I ...," but she cut him off with the touch of her fingers to his lips.

"We'll talk later," she said, a wicked grin on her lips.

Jean-Luc grinned widely also and then placed his lips again on hers in continuous tender kisses.  Her hands began tracing small circles on his back as his kisses trailed down her face onto her neck and shoulder.  Beverly gasped at the contact.  She could feel his hands searching her back for the closure of the dress and shivered as he slid the zipper down her back slowly.

He pulled back slightly to gaze into her eyes, wanting to make sure this was what she wanted.

Beverly recognized the look in his eyes and slowly rose to her feet, pulling him up with her.  When both were standing, she allowed the dress to fall off her shoulders and down to the floor.  There would be no uncertainties.  She snaked her hands around his waist and gently tugged on his shirt, pulling it from his trousers and over his head in one swift, steady movement.

Jean-Luc gasped at the sight before him.  She was unbelievably beautiful.  He reached one arm around her again, pulling her into a passionate kiss.  He took his other arm and gently scooped her up off the floor, never breaking the kiss as he carried her to the bedroom.

He gently laid her on the bed, quickly shedding his shoes and trousers as she gazed up at him.  He was so beautiful, she thought.

Slowly, he eased himself next to her, half covering her body with his own as he placed gentle kisses on her throat.  His free hand caressed her breasts though the silk underware which covered her upper body.  He smiled as she gasped at the contact and arched her body toward him.  Slowly, they removed their remaining clothing, taking time to explore each others' bodies.  Their love making was unlike either had ever experience.  More passionate that either had ever dreamed.

When exhaustion overcame them, they fell into a peaceful slumber.  The morning would bring with it new challenges, but in each other's arms tonight, they were content in the fact that, finally, they would face those challenges together.

THE END