Author's Note: This story was written as a response to a challenge.  It is my first try at writing an NC-17 story.  Happy (belated) Birthday, Bevster.  Special thanks to my beta readers, Celia and Nan.

Disclaimer: Paramount, the great and powerful, owns all of Star
Trek. I merely claim this story.
 

Reunion
 

Will Riker studied the message for several minutes, still not sure how he should respond.  It was unlike her to be so spontaneous in her request.  Yet, he had little cause to deny it.  She, after all, had the time coming to her.  The care of the crew would not likely suffer from her absence.  She had trained her staff too well.

He read over the message again.

To:  Commander William T. Riker, USS Enterprise.

From:  Dr. Beverly H. Crusher, Chief Medical Officer.

Subject:  Leave of Absence

This is to inform you of my request for an immediate leave of absence from my duties aboard the USS Enterprise for a period of 30 days.  I wish to return to my home on Caldos to take care of some family matters.  In the event of an emergency, I am prepared to return from my leave early, however, it is my belief that my staff can handle whatever emergencies come up in my absence.  I await your reply so that I may inform my staff and prepare them for any extra duties they may be required to perform.

Riker, as acting captain, had the authority to approve the request, but still he hesitated.  He knew it was not a benign request.  Beverly was his friend and he cared for her too much to allow this to go unchallenged.  Normally, he would have just asked her to have dinner with him, but this was not a normal situation.  Will understood exactly what she was doing.  She was running away.  And despite the disguise of a simple request, he knew that she had probably already decided not to return.

No, he would not challenge her request.  His concern would fall on deaf ears.

Hesitantly, he made his decision.  He was not the man to question her motives for leaving.  That man was no longer aboard the Enterprise.

Returning to attention to the message in front of him, he answered it.  He would approve her request, effective in four days when they would arrive at Starbase 78.  From there, she could take a transport to Caldos.  After sending it, he began to compose a second message, this one to be delivered through subspace to the Ba’ku homeworld.  He only hoped that it would get there in time.

Beverly surveyed the contents of the cases.  She had everything packed, everything that matter anyway.  It saddened her at just how little there was in the cases that were to accompany her, a quilt she had taken from Nana’s home when she was last there, the drama masks that hung on her bedroom walls, data disks of her research, holophotos of Jack and Wesley.  She had acquired little personal possessions since the wreck of the Enterprise D.  She was careful to pack an appropriate amount of clothing for a 30-day leave.  She could always purchase more when she needed it.

Taking one last look around, her eyes fell to little-used shelf beside her nightstand.   Until recently, the shelf had been used to store older boxes of her data disks.  Now that those disks were neatly packed away, she could see a small object edging out of a darkened corner.  Perhaps, she thought, a stray disk had fallen behind the containers.

Kneeling down to retrieve the object, she saw that it was much thinner than a disk.  As her eyes adjusted to the dimly lit corner, she realized what it was and thought for a moment that she would just leave it hidden.  Her hand trembled slightly as she grasped the object, rose from her position and the floor and slowly sat on the bed.  For several moments, she gazed at the photo before her, trying to remember when it had been taken.  All of them stood around her, Jean-Luc, Deanna, Will, Geordie, Data, Worf, even Wesley.  They were all in civilian clothes except for Wesley, who stood proudly beside her in his Starfleet Academy uniform.  A sad smile crossed her face as she began to remember the day the photo had been taken.  It was her birthday and her friends had surprised her with a party in Ten Forward.  Jean-Luc had pulled some strings and had Wesley shuttled in as a special present to her.  It seemed like such a long time ago.  As she studied each face in the photo, she was saddened by how much her life had changed since then.  She had not seen Wesley in almost a year and then only briefly.  Worf had been stationed on Deep Space Nine, and though their paths had crossed a few times since then, it still wasn’t the same.  And then there was Jean-Luc.

A stray tear dropped onto the photo as she thought about her friend.  It had been only two months ago that he had told her over breakfast of his decision to join Anij on Ba’ku.  She took the news pretty well, she thought.  It wasn’t as if she hadn’t expected his departure.  It wasn’t until later that night, in the quiet of her quarters, that she allowed the tears to flow freely.

When he left two weeks later on the Captain’s Yacht, she had commended herself for her show of strength; wishing him well like a good friend should, joking that he might even grow back some hair while he was away, and putting on her most sincere smile as she kissed him goodbye on the cheek.  Inside, her heart was breaking, but she hid it well.  At least, she hid it from Jean-Luc.  Deanna knew almost immediately the effect his leaving had on her.  She was pretty sure that Will also suspected something.

Beverly could hardly blame him for going to her.  Anij had offered him something that she was never willing to give, her love.  No fears, no concerns about protocol, just a freedom to love unconditionally.

The situation was so absurd.  She had lost him *because* she was afraid of losing him.

Wiping away another tear, she got up from the bed and tossed the photo in one of the carry alls as the chime of her door rang.  She was expecting one of the crewmen to help her with the cases.

“Come in.  The cases are here in front of the sofa,” she stated as she closed the last case, not paying attention to which crewman was there to carry her bags.

“Going somewhere, Doctor?”

Her head snapped up at the sound of the familiar baritone and she froze.  What the hell was he doing here?

She looked at him briefly as he stood in her doorway and then cut her eyes away and pretended to inspect her luggage again.

“Jean-Luc,  I thought you were still on leave,” she managed to squeak out.

He leaned against the open doorway with his arms crossed for what seemed a lifetime to Beverly.  She could feel his eyes baring down on her, but still she couldn’t look at him.

“You didn’t answer my question.”  His voice was low and steady.

The silence was deafening for the next few seconds before she could find her voice again.

“Yes,  I’m taking a few days off to take care of a few things at Nana’s,” she replied as casually as possible.  “I thought you were a crewman I called to help me with my things.”

She had not invited him in her quarters, but he took the initiative to move away from the door and allow it to close.  Jean-Luc took a quick moment to scan the room, realizing that everything important to Beverly was no longer in it’s rightful place.  Will had been right.  She didn’t plan on returning to the Enterprise.

“I know.  I saw him in the corridor,” he said as he walked slowly toward her, stopping a few feet from where she was standing.  “I told him I’d contact him if he was needed.”

Beverly looked up at him sharply.  She tried to keep her voice steady as she again began to inspect the luggage.  “Does that mean you’re volunteering to carry my bags for me then, Captain, because I don’t think I can carry them all myself?”

He waited a moment before responding, standing his ground with his arms still crossed.  “I didn’t think that you could.”

She knew exactly what he was doing, but she was not going to get into this conversation.  Holding her anger in check, she bent down to grab one of the bags and slung it over her shoulder.

“Well, I’ve got to be at the Starbase in 45 minutes to catch my transport.  Since you sent my help away, you can give me a hand.”  When he didn’t answer, she plastered a smile on her face and was forced to look at him.  He had not moved from his earlier position and made no indication that he was going to any time soon.

“Jean-Luc, I’m really in a hurry here.  Are you going to help me or do I need to call the crewman back?”  Her tone was defiant.

“I don’t think either will be necessary,” he replied, eyeing his opponent steadily.

Beverly glared back at him.  She was not going to back down.   She was leaving and damned if he was going to stop her.  She grabbed another smaller case by the hand strap.

“Then I guess I’ll have to carry the ones I need immediately and have the others sent later.”  She moved toward the doorway, but he grabbed her arm to stop her.

“Jean-Luc, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I have to go.”  She turned her eyes away from him and dropped her bags to the floor slowly.  She stared at the floor and lowered her voice, almost pleading for him to release her.  “Can’t we talk about this later?”

He held her firmly.  “No.  I don’t think that we can, Beverly.  I want to know where you’re going and why.”

“I told you.  I’m going to Caldos to take care of some family business.”

“I see.  You must plan on doing a little redecorating at the old house.  It looks like you took just about everything.”

Her anger returned in full swing at the last remark and her eyes bored into his as she struggled to jerk away from his grasp.  “I *told* you to let me go, Jean-Luc, and I meant it.”

“No.  Not until you tell me what this is all about, Doctor.”  Picard held her firm and did not see her hand move until it had struck his face.  He was momentarily stunned that Beverly had actually slapped him, but still did not release his grip.  When her hand flew again, he grabbed it and held it in place only centimeters before it would have made contact again.  He had never seen such fire in Beverly’s eyes.  This dance had gone on long enough and he wasn’t leaving until he had some answers.

She was stronger than he had imaged as she continued to struggled to free herself.  He realized that he was losing his grip on her hand and arm and forced her back against the bulkhead, changing his grip slightly so that he held her by the wrists on either side of her head.  Anticipating her next move with her knee, he placed his body tightly against hers to gain more control and prevent her action.

Beverly was livid.  The more she struggled against the Jean-Luc, the more power he exhibited to control her movements.  She considered calling security to her quarters, but knew if she did, she would have to explain to everyone why she had packed all of her personal possessions for a 30-day leave.

“You bastard.  You have no right to keep me here.”

“You’re right.  I don’t, but just the same you’re going to stay here until you talk to me.”

“Go to hell,” she spat her words at him as she renewed her struggle.

Still, he held her firm against the bulkhead.

She continued to fight against him until her muscles and emotions were drained of their power to continue.  She had lost the battle and she knew it.

From the angle that he held her, Picard could no longer see Beverly’s face.  After several moments, Picard felt her body ease.  He thought for a moment that it was merely a ploy to let his defenses down and she could again strike out at him.  When her body began to tremble, he realized that she was sobbing.  He released the tension on his grip slightly and pulled back so he could look in her eyes.

She had her head bowed, but he could see the tears as they escaped and rolled down her flushed cheeks.  Her voice was barely a whisper.

“Jean-Luc, why couldn’t you just have stayed on Ba’ku where you belonged?”

Her words tore at his heart and his voice softened to match her own.

“That’s not where I belonged, Beverly.  I belong here on the Enterprise.  I had already decided to return when I received the message from Will that you were leaving.”

“He had no right to do that.  If I had wanted you to know, I would have told you.”  Her voice was low, but he could still detect the anger there.

She was not going to make this easy on him, he realized.  He had been hurt and angered that Beverly planned to leave without talking to him.  Since he had entered her cabin, he had controlled his anger.  Perhaps, he thought, she needed him to be angry.  He released her and backed away, hoping that she would not take the opportunity to bolt from the room.

“So, what the hell were you planning to do, just take off without a word?  I thought we meant more to each other than that.”

His words stung her.  She was being a coward by running away and she knew it, but whatever hopes she had for them had been dashed when he left for Ba’ku.  Jean-Luc had moved on with his life.  It was time for her to move with hers.

“I thought that we did too,” she said gently.  “I guess I was wrong.”  Slowly, she leaned over and kissed him tenderly on the cheek, lingering there for a moment before backing away again to pick up her discarded bags.  She looked at him for a moment more.  Her eyes no longer held any anger, only sadness.  “Good-bye, Jean-Luc.  Take care of yourself.”  As she turned and left the cabin, he stood there too stunned to move.  He couldn’t believe that she had actually left him.

Picard had not anticipated this reaction from Beverly.  He had never seen her quite so beaten.  Had he really hurt her that much?  Not knowing what else to do, he crossed the room and stared out the view port.  The stars had always given him comfort in the past.  Perhaps, they would help him think clearly now.

Beverly’s parting words had struck him like a cold shower the moment she had spoken them.  He understood exactly what she meant.  She had hoped that he would give her time to work through her fears.  He hadn’t been willing to do so.  When the opportunity came to be with Anij, he had taken it.  At first, he truly thought that he was in love with Anij.  As the weeks drew on, he began to understand that nothing could ever replace the love he held in his heart for Beverly.  A love that had endured for 30 years was not likely to be replaced so easily.  He also knew that she was in love with him, even if she wasn’t ready to pursue that relationship.

What he had never even considered was that his relationship with Anij would hurt Beverly so deeply.  When it had not worked out with Anij, he expected her to be waiting for him, ready to regain their comfortable friendship.  It was an arrogant expectation, he realized, but he was not the only one at fault here.  Did she really expect him to wait forever?  Hadn’t she also taken him for granted?

Frustrated by the questions floating around in his mind, Picard continued to stare out the view port.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a transport preparing to leave the station.  Somehow, he knew that she was on it.  He was out of time.

Not knowing exactly what he would say to her, he ran to the nearest transporter room and ordered the chief to beam him to the other ship.  It wasn’t exactly proper procedure, but there were advantages to being the captain.  No one questioned his order as the transporter took hold.

Beverly’s travel cases were laying next to the bed of her temporary quarters.  The rooms were not as large as the ones she had on the Enterprise, but they would do for the three-day trip to Caldos.  Emotionally she was drained.  After leaving Jean-Luc, she had held her tears in check until she reached the door of her cabin.  Once inside, she sank to the bed and wept uncontrollably.  When she finally regained her composure, she contemplated taking a long shower, but could not motivate her muscles to move.

She had expected to make a quick getaway, having said all her good-byes to her friends the night before.  Jean-Luc’s arrival was a shock, to say the least.  She had not expected Riker to see through her plans and actually contact the captain.

She figured that eventually, Jean-Luc would find out about her departure and contact her, but not before she had time to settle into her new life.  She could be strong then, convince him that this was what she really wanted, and they could remain friends.  That hope had been shattered by their confrontation in her cabin.  The thought that they would probably never see each other again, even as friends, brought new tears to her eyes.

It was not difficult to find her cabin.  Again, rank had it’s privileges and the captain of the transport ship had been too happy to help the legendary Jean-Luc Picard.

He stood outside her door for several minutes.  It had barely been an hour since she left the Enterprise.  As he pressed the chime, he knew that no matter how long he waited, she would be angry that he had followed her.  The power of her wrath no longer concerned him.  All that mattered was that he loved her and he knew that she loved him.  Somehow, he had to salvage the situation, even if it meant that they would only remain friends.

Beverly had her head bowed over the sink in the bathroom, holding a wet cloth to her face, when she heard the chime.  Realizing it was probably a maid, she reluctantly told the intruder to enter, hoping whoever it was would do what they needed to do to the room and then leave her alone.  Hearing a slight sound behind her, she raised her eyes to the mirror and saw him standing in the bathroom doorway.

She turned so quickly that Jean-Luc thought for a moment that she was going to strike out at him again.  He backed up a few feet into the bedroom and held his hands in front of him, palms toward her.

“Beverly, I’m not here to fight with you,” he said steadily.  He had correctly assessed her mood.  Her eyes bore into him as she approached him, stopping a few feet from where he now stood.

“Then what the hell are you doing here, Jean-Luc.  Haven’t we hurt each other enough today?”

Picard took a deep breath before speaking, carefully considering his words.  “Perhaps, we have.  I just needed to apologize for my behavior earlier.  I had no right to try to keep you from leaving.”  He saw the anger slowly fading from her eyes, but knew he wasn’t in the clear yet.

Looking directly into her eyes, he continued softly.  “I know that I have hurt you and, for that, I am truly sorry.”  Slowly, he took a step forward and just as slowly, she took a step back.  He continued to speak.  “It was never my intention to do so.  I made a mistake by thinking that what I was looking for was somewhere else.  I was wrong and I won’t make that mistake again.”  The anger and hurt he’d seen in her eyes had almost diminished completely and he took another step forward.  She in turn took a smaller step back.

Picard almost smiled at her small concession, but forced it away, determined to be as sincere as possible.  “I’ve been a fool, and I can only hope that you will forgive me.”  He took another small step toward her and was inwardly elated that she stood her ground.  He was now close enough to touch her, but kept his arms steady by his side.  “Beverly, I don’t want you to leave.  Please come back with me.”

Jean-Luc had held her gaze all the while that he spoke.  Her resolve had all but melted by his heartfelt apology.  She thought that she understood what he was offering her, but she had to be sure.  Jean-Luc had once admitted that he loved her.  She knew that she still loved him, but had to know if he still felt the same way.  His closeness both unnerved and elated her.  He was close enough for her to smell his scent and her body was beginning to react to his nearness, just as it always had.  She looked down from his piercing gaze in order to form her words.

“What are you really asking me, Jean-Luc?  I don’t think I can go back to the way things were.”

He really didn’t understand her reply.  He was willing to do anything if she would agree to remain a part of his life.  Was she asking him to distance himself from her or to move closer?

“I will do anything that you want, Beverly.  My feelings for you have never changed.  I will never try to push you into something you don’t want.”  He decided to take a chance.  “But I will always love you.”

The tension in Beverly’s body eased.  She had heard what she needed to hear and looked up slowly to see the unconditional love in his eyes.  Placing her hands on his chest, she leaned forward and brushed her lips gently against his.  When she looked into his eyes again, she couldn’t help but smile at the slightly confused, but hopeful, look on his face.

“Sometimes, all I need is a little push,” she whispered.

When she leaned forward again, he met her half way, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer as he covered her mouth with his.

Beverly had sometimes dreamed of kissing Jean-Luc like this, but her imagination was nothing compared to the wonderful things he was doing to her mouth.

She had never intended on carrying the kiss quite this far, but before her mind realized it, she had placed her hands around his neck and shifted her body even closer to his.  She was startled a little by the hardness she felt against her thigh and pulled back slightly.

Picard felt her shift in his arms and immediately broke the kiss.  He was afraid that he was pushing her further than she wanted to go.  When Beverly saw the concern in his eyes, she smiled shyly at him.

“I just need a little time to catch up.” She no longer had any doubts about where they were headed, but she was in no hurry to get there too quickly.

Picard’s reply was both serious and sensuous.  “Make no mistake, Doctor.  I have no intention of rushing things.  I intend to savor every moment.”

Beverly’s mouth went dry and she swallowed quickly.  The tone of his voice and the images it inspired caused her body to shutter.  Had it not been for the fact that he was holding her tightly in his arms, she was sure she would have fallen as her legs suddenly went weak.  She didn’t even realize her feet had left the floor until he was laying her gently on the bed.

The sensations he was evoking in her body were ethereal.  He seemed to be kissing her and touching her everywhere all at once.  Every nerve ending in her body was on fire.  Never had she been aroused so quickly.  The urgent needs of her body overwhelmed her.  The hell with savoring the moment.  She wanted Jean-Luc Picard and she wanted him NOW!

Despite Jean-Luc’s good intentions, he too was overtaken by the urgency.  After laying her on the bed, he quickly disavowed himself of his shirt and shoes before kneeling over her on the bed.  While ravaging her throat with his mouth, he raised her shoulders off the bed just enough to unbutton her blouse and remove it as well.  Her bra quickly followed suit.  Before her back again touched the bed, Jean-Luc was positioned over her body, his mouth devouring her breasts, sucking and teasing each one to a rosy peak as his hands moved to her waist and tugged at her pants.  When Beverly raised her hips slightly, he had no trouble at all in sliding them off her legs, never once disengaging his mouth from her lovely breasts.

Beverly had not been idol since being placed on the bed.  While’s Jean-Luc’s mouth was busy exploring her body, her hands raked over his shoulders and back until they came to rest on his hips, snaking their way under his waistband.  She pushed the offending garments as far down his hips as she could with her hands before reaching up with her foot and sliding them off of him completely.  He was now laying half on top of her, balancing on one arm as his other hand explored her wonderfully wet folds.  Beverly could feel his aroused member pressing against her thigh and glided her hand down his flat stomach to engulf it in her long fingers.  The moan that escaped from Picard’s throat encouraged her to stoke him lightly with her fingertips and nails.  Because of his position over her breasts, Beverly was prohibited from seeing Picard’s manhood, but explored him ardently with her fingers from the tip to the base.  Based on that perception, she was thrilled, and a little frightened, at the size of him.  She had never been with a man so large.  The thought, along with Jean-Luc’s persistence, almost threw her over the edge.

“Jean-Luc, I need you, please.”  Beverly moaned between gasps.

He smiled against her breast before raising his head to face her.  He could see a hint of reluctance in her eyes and understood it.  He had seen it before.  It was not egotistical, just a fact of life.

Positioning himself over her body, he stroked her face with his hand and gently kissed her lips.  When he opened his eyes again to meet her gaze, he smiled tenderly, reassuring her that he would not hurt her.  Her anticipation was nearly overwhelming as he touched his tip against her slick folds.  She gasped as he slowly began to enter her.

Jean-Luc stopped to allow her body to get used to him.  After a moment, he pulled out ever so slightly and again began his decent, this time driving deeper with agonizing slowness before stopping again.  He repeated the action several times, each time allowing her body to adjust.  Oh God, she thought, there is no end to him.

Beverly couldn’t take much more of this.  She wrapped her long legs around his waist and pulled him against her until their hips met forcefully.  The sudden action nearly took her breath away.  Never had anyone filled her so completely.  The second he began to move again, she threw her head back on the pillows as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over her.  The power of her orgasm threw Jean-Luc over the edge nearly as quickly as he buried his face into her neck and hair.

They held each other tightly for several minutes, each trying to regain their senses.  Jean-Luc rolled over on his back, taking Beverly with him so that she rested against him.

Raising herself up on one elbow, she smiled down wickedly at him.  “So much for savoring the moment.”

Picard stared at her for a moment before remembering his earlier statement.  “You’ll have to forgive me, Doctor.  I usually judge my opponent’s reactions more accurately.”  He quickly rolled them over so that he was again on top.  “You can rest assured, I never make the same mistake twice.”  He kissed her deeply, thoroughly exploring her mouth with his tongue.  Beverly snaked her arms down his back and began making small circles with her fingers on his posterior, causing him to moan in her mouth.  Knowing that he was caught slightly off guard by her ministrations, she took the opportunity to curl one leg under his and roll them both back over so that she was once again on top.

Breaking the kiss, she smiled down at him triumphantly.  “You sound pretty sure of yourself, Captain.  Are you sure you haven’t misjudge your opponent’s abilities?”

Somewhat breathless, Jean-Luc looked up at the beauty resting on his chest and chuckled softly.  “On the contrary, Doctor.  I was counting on it.”  He pulled her down to his lips again.  Those were the last words that either spoke for several hours, as they took their time to painstakingly explore the other’s abilities.

The END